“Tequila” is mexican for “You Will Want to Die”

5 Nov

It’s 2:00 in the afternoon, I’m in a tropical paradise, and all I want to do is die. If I weren’t so hungover I’d pull myself out of bed, fling the sliding glass doors open, and jump off my balcony. Sadly, I’m too scared to do it. Not because I don’t want to die, but because I’m afraid that moving that much would make me vomit. Again.

Fuck you, tequila. Fuck you.

I should have trusted my judgment and told the waiter to run away with his unopened bottle of tequila last night. Instead Oingo Boingo and I proceeded to rip it open and pour it down everyone’s throats. I know I did at least four shots…and that’s on top of the mixed drinks and champagne.

I woke up several hours later, naked in my bed. How I managed to take my contacts out without losing an eye is beyond me. Too bad I only managed to put one away. The other is lost. Glasses for the rest of the trip! Not that it matter because I’ll probably die in this room.

What will they tell my mother?

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7 Responses to ““Tequila” is mexican for “You Will Want to Die””

  1. lyn November 5, 2010 at 10:18 pm #

    try sambuca. subtle but such a killer. hangover is not as bad as the tequila when you do have one. 😉

  2. Grey Goose Dirty On The Rocks November 6, 2010 at 12:27 am #

    holy shit! you’re on a vacation without your mother? :-X oh, sorry ….

  3. Andrea Simpson - Conflicted Mean Girl November 6, 2010 at 1:43 am #

    I thought “tequila” was mexican for “clothes off. ass up”

  4. Sarah November 6, 2010 at 3:41 am #

    If you can manage to get down one bloody Mary, you’ll feel 100% better! Trust me, I’m a professional 😉

  5. Debralee November 6, 2010 at 12:35 pm #

    Totally know the feeling..I’ve lost them in my eye before and had to fish them out the next day….ugh. I hate my glasses….

    PS…that’s what alcohol will do! Ive got 69 days sober so far!

  6. tequilabob23 November 7, 2010 at 7:22 pm #

    Sorry for the bad experience – what kind of tequila was it? Four shots of quality tequila should not be hangover-worthy. Then again, four shots of any tequila mixed with champagne and other cocktails would mess up a vacation. Hope you recover quickly to enjoy the rest of the trip!

  7. Skylers Dad November 7, 2010 at 7:58 pm #

    Reason #523 for Lazik surgery, no drunken contact removal. It has to prove effective in reducing clothing removal though…

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