Neighborly Nonsense

10 Sep

One of the best things about moving away to Philly has been not having to see my trash whore bitch neighbor.  Sure there’s something to be said for getting some good stories from my white trash neighbors, but for the most part living next to someone that belongs in a trailer park has been more of a headache than it’s worth.

I’m in my dining room right now with the window open and whatever she is doing next door is totally making me high.  It smells like she’s burning sausages and bleach at the same time.  What the fuck is she doing over there?  My head is literally swimming and I’m afraid I might pass out.  Or that I might start hallucinating that Papa Smurf starts lecturing me about not following Justin Bieber on twitter.

For the record, I don’t follow Justin Bieber on twitter.

I gotta get out of here, but I have to wait for my contractor to get over here so I can tell him to “andale” and paint some of the walls in here so this house can get sold.  Maybe I’ll dock him some pesos and withhold his burritos at lunch time.

What does meth cooking smell like?

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11 Responses to “Neighborly Nonsense”

  1. Sarah September 10, 2010 at 10:17 am #

    sausage, bleach and cat urine. call the cops. STAT.

  2. Del-V September 10, 2010 at 10:25 am #

    That’s what meth smells like. Is that why you can’t sleep at night?

  3. The Real Johnson September 10, 2010 at 12:42 pm #

    Mmm. Bleach sausage.

  4. teri September 10, 2010 at 12:49 pm #

    I feel that if you smell something coming from her house and it really is making you high, you should call the cops.

  5. Jenna September 10, 2010 at 1:07 pm #

    Absolutely call the cops. You need to put that bitch in jail so “next door to a meth lab” is not on your list of selling points on the house.

  6. Isha September 10, 2010 at 1:58 pm #

    Hah, thats lovely.
    And meth smoke is odorless, maybe its Crack.. haha :0

  7. Pkitass September 10, 2010 at 2:36 pm #

    @Isha Meth being smoked is odorless

    Cooking meth smells like fun tonight : )p

  8. Tony Alva September 10, 2010 at 3:25 pm #

    Not to over alarm you, but the process of making meth involves a cooking process that produces smells much as you describe. It also produces extremely unstable chemical states that can cause explosions. The gases are very toxic. If you’re serious about this you need to do as the others have suggested and call the police ASAP.

  9. Tony Alva September 10, 2010 at 4:38 pm #

    Caht,

    My earlier comment didn’t post, but you NEED to contact the authorities ASAP.

    Longtime reader, infrequent commentor,

    Tony Alva

  10. houstonsocialbutterfly September 14, 2010 at 12:50 am #

    Hey girlie!! Just droppin by to say hello!!

  11. Hippest Snippets September 14, 2010 at 5:21 pm #

    We always thoughts Philly was the city of brotherly love, but one time we went there and someone threw a cheesesteak at us. Then we ate it.

    Delicious love.

    We also love your blog! We read it all the time!

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