Archive | 10:15 am

Neighborly Nonsense

10 Sep

One of the best things about moving away to Philly has been not having to see my trash whore bitch neighbor.  Sure there’s something to be said for getting some good stories from my white trash neighbors, but for the most part living next to someone that belongs in a trailer park has been more of a headache than it’s worth.

I’m in my dining room right now with the window open and whatever she is doing next door is totally making me high.  It smells like she’s burning sausages and bleach at the same time.  What the fuck is she doing over there?  My head is literally swimming and I’m afraid I might pass out.  Or that I might start hallucinating that Papa Smurf starts lecturing me about not following Justin Bieber on twitter.

For the record, I don’t follow Justin Bieber on twitter.

I gotta get out of here, but I have to wait for my contractor to get over here so I can tell him to “andale” and paint some of the walls in here so this house can get sold.  Maybe I’ll dock him some pesos and withhold his burritos at lunch time.

What does meth cooking smell like?