No More Hyenas

3 Sep

My date with Mom Jeans the other night was pretty awful.  On my way home from the cheesy ass chain restaurant where we met I started thinking about this whole dating thing.  In thinking back over my history I have some pretty atrocious luck with set-ups and online dating.  This made me wonder whether or not it was worth the effort.  I came to the conclusion that it wasn’t.

My mom always told us that love was like a shadow, if you chase it you’ll never catch it, but if you leave it alone it will follow you.  Maybe she’s right, maybe not.  I don’t fucking know.

When I got home Depeche Mode and I had a chat about stupid dating.  We agreed that maybe match.com wasn’t the best thing for me.  He said that the way it worked was that you had to wait for everything in your life to fall in line, and then someone would come out of nowhere and mess everything up.  That’s what it’s all about.  I’m not going to find it online – it’s not for me.  I’m not going out with friends of friends because I don’t want to play safari and then swim with fake hippos in an above ground pool.

My life has changed significantly since the beginning of the year.  I have a new job that I love, I live in a new city, I have a great home, and I’m making new friends.  I decided I was just going to let things play out.  I was just going to let the whole dating thing just go and fuck itself.  I deleted the stupid match.com app off my iphone after my date and swore off being set up.  If something happened, great.  If not, whatever.  And so, I went off on my merry way just thinking I’d put it all behind me.

And then last night happened…

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9 Responses to “No More Hyenas”

  1. Wynn September 3, 2010 at 5:59 pm #

    CLIFFHANGERS! What happened!

  2. Nathan Marcello September 3, 2010 at 6:03 pm #

    I’m now intrigued.

  3. Spree September 3, 2010 at 6:15 pm #

    WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?!

  4. Conflicted Mean Girl September 3, 2010 at 6:20 pm #

    dun dun DUN. To be continued. Suspense is killing me!

  5. Skylers Dad September 3, 2010 at 8:17 pm #

    I always knew that George Clooney would find you someday.

    • Michelle September 3, 2010 at 11:12 pm #

      Please, please let me know what happened . . . I h.a.t.e. online dating but if you have a success story let me know – don’t keep me hanging . . .

  6. SPF September 4, 2010 at 6:05 am #

    You are such a fucking tease. 😛

  7. teri September 4, 2010 at 7:55 am #

    God, I hate you, you’re so mean.

    I think you are very social so it should happen naturally when you are out and about, probably when you are bombed off your ass and just about to hit the gutter.

  8. Skylers Dad September 7, 2010 at 11:28 am #

    It’s possible I may have a solution for you:
    http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/81085374/

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