Archive | September, 2010

Just the Tip Tuesday (09/28/10)

28 Sep

It’s Britney, bitch.

Who watched Glee tonight??  I did!  I did!

Know what?  It was once again proven that Matthew Morrison is hot like fire.

That’s right, kids, I’d do Mr. Schu!

Stop Checking the Counter

26 Sep

I didn’t sleep with him.  No one saw anyone naked.  There was no peen touching.

Calm down, people.

Protected: He’s Like a Blood Sucker, Only He Sucks Joy Instead Of Blood

26 Sep

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Protected: Office Adonis = Office A-dog-is

24 Sep

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Protected: The Conference Room

21 Sep

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Just the Tip Tuesday (09/21/10)

21 Sep

Over the weekend I hit NYC for a wonderful Sexless in the City with my old friend, McSnuggles.  You’ll get the scoop on that later…

Saturday we went to bar to watch Alabama bend Duke over their knee and spank them silly.  Christ was that embarrassing for Duke.  I slept with a golf player from Duke, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.  I’m also kind of ashamed to say that the next time I saw him was years later when I accidentally bumped into him…at his own engagement party.  Good times, good times.

Anywho, McSnuggles is really great at getting out there and meeting people.  The first people we met at the game were three guys who were sitting in a booth.  One of which was the male equivalent of a bombshell.  Does such a thing exist?  No, probably not, but for the purposes of this post I’m going to pretend it does.  This guy was model hot.  Model.  Hot.

He was so hot, in fact, that two things happened:

  1. I forgot his name.
  2. He had some kind of crazy control over my camera that prevented me from taking a good picture of him.  Your loss, not mine.

In the course of the conversation with these three dudes in the booth, one of them asked McSnuggles when she graduated from Alabama.  “1996,” she announced.  They looked young, and we both love the young, but when my dream man said that he graduated in 2009, we had to shed a little tear.

22, bitches.  He is 22.

Protected: I’m Screwed…And Not In A Good Way

15 Sep

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Being Single Sucks Wrinkly Balls

15 Sep

Why? Why, God? Why??

Seriously, here. Why am I only desirable to boys I don’t want, or those I can’t have? For some reason I seem to have some strange draw to married men or those with girlfriends. Yeah, sure, I’ve flirted my butt off with Office Adonis, however, most of the time if they have a ring on their finger or a girl warming their bed for them I try to control myself. Most of the time. And I don’t usually touch them…unless they happen to be Office Adonis. I would just like to remind you that he made the first move.

Anyway, another office guy (married with kids) basically asked me for a wristie the other day. Mom Jeans keeps calling and texting me – I haven’t responded. Now there’s a third guy who I had kind of talked to on match. We were going to go out, right up until he posted new pictures of himself and I saw that his face look like Bob from Bob’s Big Boy. Um, no. Of course now he’s text messaging me.

Meanwhile, Office Adonis is flirting with me and all I want to do is jump in his lap and drown in his baby blues.

It’s terribly difficult being so desirable sometimes.