My Spicy Man Meat

29 Jul

I mentioned several weeks ago that my friends and I have decided that we are all too freaking fat and that exposing our bodies to tourists in Mexico would be unlawful and we’d immediately get sent to the States.  Operation Mexi Melt is in full swing, and everyone has been doing well.  Boom Boom and I have become dedicated to fitness.  Several times a week we drag our plump butts to the gym and work up a sweat.  Typically, the thought of this would make me feel like killing myself 12 times, however, I have found my inspiration: spicy man meat.

There is this dude that works at the gym that is seriously one of the hottest guys I have ever seen.  Ever.  In my life.  Ever.  Ever. Ever.

Ever.

Hottest dude ever.

In the world.

Ever.

This guy’s body is sick.  He’s tall, has just the right muscle tone, broad shoulders, great hair and  a tight ass.  Me want him. Unfortunately, his stupid tiny blond girlfriend is usually in tow.  I don’t know the girl, but I fucking hate her.  She is a whore. The luckiest whore in the world.  You can imagine my delight on Tuesday when I was sitting on the stationary bike, cursing my, when he suddenly appeared – without his girlfriend. I literally sat there for an hour and just gawked at him. I watched him run around the track, lift weights, sweat, and totally avoid eye contact.

I ended up moving to an elliptical that faces the track, and that’s when the magic happened: he started doing wunges (walking lunges, which are usually lamer than shit) right in front of me.  He was lunging so deep that his ball sack was practically hitting the floor.  It was so hot I almost fell off my elliptical.  I swear I had to go home and change out of my workout pants afterwards, creamy good times.

Hottest guy ever.

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6 Responses to “My Spicy Man Meat”

  1. Chris July 29, 2010 at 4:28 pm #

    I absolutely enjoy reading your blog and can relate on so many fronts. I’d like to read your password protected entries as well. (…and I can absolutely say I do not work with you).

  2. teri July 29, 2010 at 4:35 pm #

    why is there always a girlfriend or wife around?

  3. Wynn July 29, 2010 at 5:27 pm #

    I think we’re all thinking the same thing. And it’s called cellphone camera. I’ll heat up the popcorn while I wait, mmmkay!

  4. KiKi July 30, 2010 at 1:57 am #

    *snort* Love the gym recap. “He was lunging so deep that his ball sack was practically hitting the floor.” THAT. is poetry.

    Operation Mexi-Melt? …loves it!

  5. Red July 31, 2010 at 7:54 pm #

    There was a hot guy with his shirt off in the show I saw last night. Good stuff! It was a good show anyway, but that added to it.

    Go, Operation Mexi Melt!

  6. Gennifer6 August 1, 2010 at 3:05 pm #

    I love it when that happens!!

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