Matricide

29 Jul

I just spent a fucking hour and a fucking half with my mother on the fucking phone planning our fucking vacation.  She is so fucking infuriating sometimes.  She has a fucking computer at her fucking house but can’t fucking figure out how to fucking use it.  It’s really fucking annoying.

She was looking for information on conferences and she literally does this?

  • Mom: Did you look for “psychiatry travel seminars”?
  • Me: Yes, and 700 zillion things pop up, but only two are relevant.
  • Mom:  How about “travel seminars psychiatry”?
  • Me: Mom, changing the order of the words doesn’t change that most of the 7 zillion results are irrelevant.
  • Mom:  Just try it.
  • Me: Fine. Would you look at that?  Only 2 web pages are relevant.
  • Mom: How about “travel psychiatry seminars”?
  • Me: Are you kidding me?

I used every derivation of “travel”, “seminar” and “psychiatry” I could come up with.  Endless and pointless combinations. We went back and forth for 90 minutes only to go back to the first two fucking web pages I gave her at the beginning of the god damn conversation.  That’s 90 minutes I will never ever fucking get back.

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6 Responses to “Matricide”

  1. Queenie July 30, 2010 at 9:48 am #

    Parents can be so koo koo sometimes. Man, the last time I took a vacation with my parentals was in 98. It was hell to the third!

  2. teri July 30, 2010 at 11:38 am #

    why doesn’t your mother trust your electronic skills?

    I can see many fights and crying, if she were my mother. Good luck!

  3. Lola July 30, 2010 at 7:45 pm #

    Isn’t your mom a doctor? Is she a psychiatrist and is she still able to treat people? That would be hilarious. You’re going to have to write more about her, she is so cute, you be nice.

  4. Kelli July 30, 2010 at 8:55 pm #

    Are you sure we aren’t sisters? My parents call me every day with some internet related question. It makes me want to gouge my eyes and ears!

  5. unfinishedrambler July 31, 2010 at 11:30 am #

    Why the fuck would you want to go to a fucking seminar on fucking psychiatry on your fucking vacation anyhow? The fuck?

    No, I don’t normally fucking talk like this, but I’m just trying to get into the fucking spirit of your post. 🙂

  6. livingdilbert August 2, 2010 at 4:41 pm #

    You are so GD funny that I read your posts aloud to others. YOU are definitely a favorite of mine! While reading this one to Main Squeeze…I couldn’t stop wheezing.

    It moves me that you find my posts so funny. -CS

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