Sometimes People Want to Be Beaten

9 Jun

I hate my cousins on my mother’s side.  I have for many, many years.  They have always had this air of superiority to them that I have never tolerated.  The last time I enjoyed being around them was when I was about seven years old.  One night my sister and I were staying at their house and we fell asleep.  My cousins are ten years older than we are and they thought it would be awesome if they drew on our faces…with permanent marker.  My sister was made into Dracula and I was made into Frankenstein.  I cried for 5 days, that’s how long it took for the pen to come off.  I’ve hated them ever since.

As we grew older, they stayed as self centered and entitled as they had always been.  When my grandmother died, they flew to Baltimore, but refused to stay at my apartment – they insisted on staying at a 5 star hotel.  On the day of the funeral, one of my cousins dressed like a whore, and the other one would tell people how close she and my grandmother had been.  So close that she hadn’t bothered to call my grandmother for months, and had rarely visited her when they lived in the same town.  I hated them.

We would hear from them sporadically after that, only when they needed something from my mother.  That was it.

Several months ago the calls started coming again.  My uncle was passing through a difficult time – his bitch wife who was a year older than my oldest cousin had decided to leave him.  He was left with nothing.  All of the money that he had once had – the money that had set them apart as the “rich side” of the family was gone – and he had no one to take care of them.  That’s when the phone calls started.  One of my cousins called my mother several times a day hoping my mom could help “sort out” the problem.  By “sorting out” she meant “financially support” my uncle.  My mother did it.

Last week he was walking his dog and he fell.  They found him unconscious on the floor.  Instead of taking him to the hospital when they saw that he was disoriented, they called my mom.  Then they refused to listen when she told him that they needed to take him to the hospital right away.  They waited 6 hours before finally taking him.  The doctors found two major skull fractures and 3 clots.  He could have died.

My cousins were frantic and panicky and they asked my mother to fly down to Mexico City.  She went.  She’s been there since the weekend, and once again they are treating her like shit.  My mother doesn’t think the doctor is doing enough, but my cousins refuse to switch doctors because they think he’s nice.  My mom is a doctor, she knows stuff, they won’t listen to her.  She got into a major fight with one of my cousins.  Screaming and yelling, and my cousin decided to throw a tantrum and thinks it’s best if she leaves to take a trip to the countryside, so she’s leaving my mom to tend to everything on her own.  One cousin lives in NYC but says he has an important meeting and can’t leave work.  The other cousin is too busy to show up.

When everything first happened with my uncle, I had a very distant attitude about the whole thing.  I feel sorry for him, but at the same time I feel that he had what was coming to him.  I don’t think that it’s my mom’s responsibility to jump in and start taking care of him.  When I told my mom this, she said that she was sad that she and I had a different idea of what family meant.  Maybe we do, but I would never treat anyone the way my cousins have been treating her.

It’s sad to say, but I know that when my mom and uncle are gone, that I will never speak to my cousins again.  Never again.  They say that blood is thicker than water, but their blood is poison.


13 Responses to “Sometimes People Want to Be Beaten”

  1. Skylers Dad June 9, 2010 at 8:03 pm #

    What assholes to be using your mother like that!

  2. livingdilbert June 9, 2010 at 11:13 pm #

    I would gladly help you beat their asses. When my Mom passed away I had to deal with some folks like this that never, ever did much to help her and always put themselves first. I was so angry. One of the people was her own daughter from her first marriage who only asked or money and was MEAN. I wanted to beat her ass while Mom was alive, but Mom didn’t want me too. It has been 8 years and I punted them all from my life long ago…good riddance. I AM truly sorry they are such selfish piles of poop. I hope writing this post helped you get a little steam out about them. YOU are far better than they could ever hope to be. (Sorry for such a long response…it really got to me!)

  3. HookdnTX June 10, 2010 at 8:08 am #

    You and I are paddling the same family situation boat. I would love to lend a hand but I need some details like when this beat down is going to happen? Am I allowed to do permanent damage? Are we only allowed to use fists or can I bring a basball bat too?

  4. Sarah June 10, 2010 at 8:30 am #

    I will bake you one hundred pies to hit them in the face. I’ll hold them down while you throw. xoxo

  5. Del-V June 10, 2010 at 8:35 am #


    Don’t let your mother get walked on. That’s not cool. I hope your uncle gets well, but you don’t have to wait for him to die to stop talking to your snotty cousins. You can start doing that today.

  6. Teri June 10, 2010 at 9:00 am #

    I totally agree with your mother about family. However, when this family continually shits on you, family is not that important. If she likes being shit on but feels that she’s helping her family, that’s great but she shouldn’t expect you and your sister to approve.

  7. Barb June 10, 2010 at 3:25 pm #

    Cath, I am sorry that you are going through this! It totally sucks having family like that. I have always said, and it’s true because I’ve seen it happen, what comes around goes around.

    Your mom probably needs you to be a little supportive, just for her sake. She’ll probably need someone to bitch to about the asshole cousins, etc. Just be there for her. That’s all you can do.

  8. auishtha June 10, 2010 at 3:30 pm #

    conniving, scheming relatives are always one way to start hating the meaning of “family”. Your mother is the sweetest thing. Naive, but sweet. I have relatives who live off on use despite the fact that they have jobs and a good means of income.

    If you want their bodies black and blue all over, I’m one of the people to call. ciao 🙂

  9. Dr. Poop June 11, 2010 at 8:42 am #

    Many cousins are, in reality, douches.

    You should get them really drunk and have their faces tattooed like Dracula Douche and Frankenstein Douche.

  10. Emily June 11, 2010 at 3:28 pm #

    I totally agree with you. I don’t think ANYONE has the right to treat others like this, and you have to protect yourself and hold your ground on your boundaries. Just because you’re family doesn’t mean they can treat you like shit. (Can you tell I’ve had some experience with this?)

  11. Vodka and Ground Beef June 11, 2010 at 4:53 pm #

    Your cousins are douchemongers.

  12. Kim B. November 3, 2011 at 7:39 pm #

    Hear you on this one, met up with my cousins for our grandmothers’ last big birthday celebration, my mother was there literally dying of cancer and because of their Mother’s fights with her years ago they totally ignored my mother. Well, it was the last time they saw her alive. I told them what I thought of them at our grandmother’s funeral 1-1/2 years later. That was the last time I will ever speak to them.

    • Catherinette November 3, 2011 at 8:16 pm #

      Fuck them! They sound like horrible people. Good riddance. -CS

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