Archive | 1:52 pm

Call of the Wild

22 Mar

My mom’s house is out in the country.  On most nights there are deer that will parade through her yard, and every summer they eat her hostas.  She sees all kinds of birds, and – of course – there are tons and tons of bugs.  For the most part she enjoys the little animal creatures that she shares her home with.

The one exception is the bats.  Ever since she moved into her house she’s had several encounters with bats.  Personally, I LOVE the stories.  She, on the other hand, could be brought to tears when we talk about bats.  The only one that has been more traumatized than my mom is my sister.  My sister got really up close and personal with a bat one time.  There was the time that my sister took a shower with a bat and then proceeded to freak the fuck out when she realized the bat was in there with her.  Then there was the time that she saw a bat wing sweeping out from under her closet door.  Some bat specialist had to come out and take the bat away.  He told my sister that the bat had been hanging out in one of her shoes – but refused to tell her which shoe it was in. 

My mom has been nice enough to drag other people into the mix when she’s needed help with the bats.  There was an occassion when Un-boyfriend and my brother-in-law had to go over to take a bat out of the house.  Somehow they managed to get it into a tupperware.  They stepped outside, and my mother and sister locked the door behind them.  Both my brother-in-law and Un-boyfriend figured that the bat would just fly away if they threw it out of the tupperware.  When they threw the poor bat, it landed on the ground and started hissing at them.  They ran screaming like little schoolgirls to the front of the house so my mom and sister would let them in.

My sister’s encounters with wild life haven’t been limited to just bats.  She’s had all sorts of fun times with nature at my mom’s house.  Another time she was attacked by bees in the woods behind the forest.  Another time she was walking the dogs in the woods and they came across a deer that had broken its leg.  The dogs proceeded to attack the poor thing while it screamed its little deer screams.  My sister had to run to a neighbor’s house who ended up going out to the woods and shooting the deer. 

Yeah, I think I’ll stick to crazy neighbors.  Fuck the woods.