My Grad School Class Causes Brain Damage

16 Mar

Ever have strange thoughts as you drift off to sleep?  I tend to imagine really absurd things just as I’m on the verge of passing out.  Last night the thought I had was so fucking stupid that it actually kept me up for an hour.  Seriously, it’s stupid.  Even more stupid than wearing your sunglasses at night, or making out with Yellow(ish) Mustang owing dude.

After four hours of working on an annotated bibliography for my grad school class, I had enough.  There’s only so much APA formatting I can take.  For those of you that don’t know what it is, APA is a style of writing which was created by the devil himself.  It has to be one of the most retarded things on the planet – even worse than Spencer/Heidi Pratt.  Those two are geniuses compared to the stupidity of APA.  Seriously, it’s horrible.  I’d rather do anal than have to write a fucking paper using APA.  Anal without lube would probably be less painful and easier than APA formatting.

Anyway, after cursing the makers of APA and turning off the lights, I started drifting off to sleep.  That’s when I thought the following inane thought: what would happen if Perez Hilton had to write his blog posts in APA format?  I then spent about an hour trying to figure out how the citations would look since he pretty much steals all his stuff from other celebrity gossip thoughts.  Nine times out of ten somewhere in his post you’ll find the words, “TMZ is reporting.”  So, he’s supposed to cite his sources. 

For example, today he’s reporting something stupid about Conrad Murray (Michael Jackson’s doctor) that was reported earlier that day on TMZ.  Yet, there’s nothing indicating that he got the information from TMZ.  If he was submitting that as an assignment, he would fucking fail.  F!

I need help, I really do.

Resources

Hilton, P. (2016, March 10). Conrad Murray’s Lawyers Not Happy With The D.A.’s Office! | PerezHilton.com. Celebrity gossip juicy celebrity rumors Hollywood gossip blog from Perez Hilton. Retrieved March 16, 2010, from http://perezhilton.com/2010-03-16-conrad-murrays-lawyers-not-happy-with-the-das-office

Staff. (2010, March 16). Conrad Murray Docu-Drama with D.A. | TMZ.com. Celebrity Gossip | Entertainment News | Celebrity News | TMZ.com. Retrieved March 16, 2010, from http://www.tmz.com/2010/03/16/conrad-murray-michael-jackson-los-angeles-district-attorney-documents/

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12 Responses to “My Grad School Class Causes Brain Damage”

  1. PJ March 16, 2010 at 2:17 pm #

    I never used it myself, but there is software out there that will do APA formatting for you. Classmates of mine swore it kept them from failing out.

    I totally need that software. Immediately if not sooner. -CS

  2. Julie March 16, 2010 at 2:48 pm #

    i HATE annotated bibs, and YES I am living proof that grad school rots your brain.

    Let us all revolt! -CS

  3. jon March 16, 2010 at 2:57 pm #

    Perhaps, insanity is a small price to pay to master APA formatting.

    I don’t want to master it. I don’t want to have to do it at all. -CS

  4. Hookdntx March 16, 2010 at 9:34 pm #

    Um hello! What self respecting grad student doesn’t know about Son of Citation: http://citationmachine.net/ ? You may bow before me as your citation problems are now solved

    Oh, I know all about it. But does it create an entire freaking annotated bibliography? No, it does not. -CS

  5. auishtha March 16, 2010 at 11:50 pm #

    you are not alone. I think about the stupidest ideas when I’m about to drift to sleep—which ironically causes me to lose sleep in the process. Gawd. Wish I could kick off the haibt.

    Ambien can help. 🙂 Oh if only I had some! -CS

    • auishtha March 17, 2010 at 10:28 pm #

      Bet it needs prescription. lol.

      Um…what? -CS

  6. caribbeanlurker March 17, 2010 at 12:38 am #

    i know your pain… my whole college education was written in apa and then i had to make my grad thesis in apa too, it took me almost 6 months to be done with the effin 120 page thesis… i’m glad it’s over.

    All of college? That freaking BLOWS! God only knows how you survived. -CS

  7. Del-V March 17, 2010 at 7:22 am #

    You could have done the “on-line university.” They wouldn’t care if you used citations, or APA format. Basically you could have paid them and gotten your diploma without much effort at all (I know a guy who is a Psychologist that went to an on-line university).

    I finished my Master’s Degree 8 years ago and I remember how many weekends I had to stay home to work while my friends went out. I think that’s what keeps me from getting my MBA. It’s boring.

    Sorry about the pep talk. Hang in there. I know it’s annoying going to grad school, but if it isn’t hard, then it isn’t worth doing.

    “if it isn’t hard, then it isn’t worth doing.” That’s what she said. -CS

  8. Debralee March 18, 2010 at 10:45 am #

    I am SOOO glad that part of my life is over. APA gave me nightmare’s for years. I finally perfected it though and when I had group/team classes…it just killed me that other people could not grasp the concept. Ummm…yeah…I am a bit of a perfectionist and one little lapse in the standard would send me off. I don’t envy you…but it does help you write a GREAT paper!!! Love ya!

  9. Debralee March 18, 2010 at 10:52 am #

    FYI to Del-V…don’t judge those on-line universites so quickly. I graduated with a BA in Business/Marketing from the “on-line university” and it was more difficult than ‘on-site” classes. They were very strict and I did pay them a boat load of money for my diploma and it took LOTs of effort (3-years of giving up my life) on my part. I guess my point is that it all sucks, no matter if it’s on-line on on-site. 🙂

  10. Sarah March 19, 2010 at 2:11 pm #

    I HATE HATE HATE APA. After all those years of MLA in JR High and High School that I apparently “was going to need to know for the rest of my life” …..I get to college and WHAMMO its APA. After a year of writing my senior thesis I could have done APA in my sleep. Not anymore…so once I hit the grad school portion of life…I’m going to be breaking out my Diane Hackers (2009) Guide to apa.

  11. Mimi March 22, 2010 at 9:00 pm #

    Wow that’s an amazing job on the annotated bib for Perez before falling asleep! As a psych major with a minor in English I have APA style permanently engraved in my brain. I think that would be Perez’s version of hell, having to actually do his website like that. All day, everyday. Hahahaha

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