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17 Feb

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Lent(tl) Soup

17 Feb

You crazy Catholics with your Easter Bunny, and your Jesus on the Cross, and the holy trinity, and your giving up stuff for Lent, and your priests that molest kids.  You so crazy!

I love this time of year.  For some reason, it brings me great joy to see all my Catholic friends give up stuff for Lent.  I take the opportunity to surround myself with whatever they give up.  If they decide no chocolate for 40 days, then every time that I see them I’m eating chocolate.  No swearing?  More f bombs from me in their presence.  No drinking?  More invitations to Happy Hour.

I’m evil.  I know it.  I’m an Atheist, I don’t care.

This year, however, I’ve decided to take a different approach.  I’m going to give up Claude for Lent.  That’s right.

  • No more stories about multiple honeypots.
  • No more emailing him and demanding that he respond immediately if not sooner.
  • No more stories about Meow.
  • No more stories about how he got busy in the dressing room at Macy’s at 10 in the morning.

Sacrifice?  No, not really.  It’s rage.  He’s jetting off to Hawaii right this very second and I’m green with envy. 

DAMN YOU, CLAUDE!