This Little Piggy Went to Market

8 Feb

Here we go again: according to reports from the National Weather Service we’re about to get another fucking storm.  After getting slammed with almost 24 inches, it looks like we’re about to get another 10.  I wish I was talking about peen.  What royally super sucks is that I have to go to the grocery store for food.  Typically, grocery shopping is fun.  I’m one of those people who loves shopping for food.  I go up and down every single aisle just to see what they have – even though it’s the same stuff they had the week before.  On nights before storm, however, grocery shopping is about as pleasant as a finger in the eye.

Everyone and their god damn mother is there trying to stock up for the rest of their lives.  It’s a fucking storm, people, it’s not the apocalypse.  You do not need 18 rolls of toilet paper and 4 gallons of milk and 16 cans of Tender Vittles.  Just stay at home and watch the episode of Jerry Springer you DVRed earlier in the day.

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10 Responses to “This Little Piggy Went to Market”

  1. Julie February 8, 2010 at 6:28 pm #

    bahaha. you should’ve seen the grocery stores here after the hurricane, it was like the world was ending! awful!

  2. jon February 8, 2010 at 7:48 pm #

    Homage to Rodney Dangerfield: “BIG. A 24 inch nor’easter peen is so BIG, there’s still snow on it in the summertime.”

  3. Mimi February 8, 2010 at 8:15 pm #

    OMG Tender Vittles!!! We used to feed that to my cat when I was little. ahahahaha. Just run over their ankles!

  4. BeckEye February 8, 2010 at 8:21 pm #

    These weathermen are all a buncha durn liars. I was all hunkered down for Saturday’s storm and there wasn’t even one flake.

  5. Lee Reilly February 8, 2010 at 9:11 pm #

    I remember the milk and toilet paper thing when I lived there. It took me a lot of years to figure it out, but I think the basis for it is, people have been told they must have milk stocked up. However, a lot of these people are lactose intolerant, so, hence the run on toilet paper. Or so it seems to me.

  6. maria February 8, 2010 at 9:46 pm #

    I died laughing at the apcolypse comment I live in IL ppl here do that too, Im like geez ppl

  7. ii February 9, 2010 at 6:59 am #

    You get the same thing if there’s a bank holiday. ‘Cause apparently you need to stock up like a lunatic if the stores are closed on, say, Wednesday. What’s with that?? It’s not like you go grocery shopping every day anyways!

  8. Eternally Distracted February 9, 2010 at 7:17 am #

    We just had 60mm of rain and a public holiday was declared… but I do live in the desert!

  9. Philly February 9, 2010 at 7:18 am #

    The liquor store knows me by my first name these days.

  10. Misssmile February 9, 2010 at 2:40 pm #

    Hey! While you guys are freezing up there; here in southamerica we’re having temperatures over 100F since december; and it won’t get any better until around april…!!!! So… I’m kind of jealous of you! 🙂

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