Archive | 5:39 pm

This Little Piggy Went to Market

8 Feb

Here we go again: according to reports from the National Weather Service we’re about to get another fucking storm.  After getting slammed with almost 24 inches, it looks like we’re about to get another 10.  I wish I was talking about peen.  What royally super sucks is that I have to go to the grocery store for food.  Typically, grocery shopping is fun.  I’m one of those people who loves shopping for food.  I go up and down every single aisle just to see what they have – even though it’s the same stuff they had the week before.  On nights before storm, however, grocery shopping is about as pleasant as a finger in the eye.

Everyone and their god damn mother is there trying to stock up for the rest of their lives.  It’s a fucking storm, people, it’s not the apocalypse.  You do not need 18 rolls of toilet paper and 4 gallons of milk and 16 cans of Tender Vittles.  Just stay at home and watch the episode of Jerry Springer you DVRed earlier in the day.

Advertisements

Protected: Jack Half-Assed

8 Feb

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below: