An Important Question for All Humanity

3 Feb

Have you ever gone to the beach and seen a really fat guy in his trunks?  Usually, the guy is just massive and may or may not have a jiggly belly.  Compare that with a really big girl, and you’ll see that we, as women, are robbed.  Know what that woman probably has that the man doesn’t?  Cellulite.  Not only is the chick fat, but she probably has dimples in their thighs.

Have you ever seen a dude with dimples in his thighs?  No, you haven’t.  Know why?  Neither do I.

What’s that about?  Why do we have to get robbed with that?  Not only do we have to suffer with freaking cramps and practically bleeding to death every month, but we also have to deal with the visual delights of bumpy thighs.

6 Responses to “An Important Question for All Humanity”

  1. Vegetable Assassin February 3, 2010 at 12:00 pm #

    Even more unfair is, even skinny ladies have cellulite. Unless you’re toned all to hell and in the gym 7 days a week doing inner thigh workouts, you probably have it. That sucks. Yet it’s sort of comforting too when you’ve just eaten your bodyweight in chocolate because it’s your period and feel the size of a walrus then you see some skinny celeb chick in a bikini with yes, cellulite. It’s life affirming really. Fuck cellulite. It’s so unfair.

  2. Red February 3, 2010 at 12:40 pm #

    I read somewhere that men don’t get cellulite because their epidermis is thicker. This is also probably why women get cold more easily than men.

    Also, cellulite is genetic…so if your mom has it, you will have it, despite all efforts to avoid it. This is why we should give ourselves a freaking break and not be so hard on our bodies. There’s only so much that’s really in our control.

  3. Wynn February 3, 2010 at 2:02 pm #

    Yeah someone totally fucked up somewhere along the lines of our evolution.

    But also, if EVERYONE except a few lucky ones have it, then.. uhm, I totally agree with Red on not being so hard on ourselves.

  4. Alixandra Hice February 3, 2010 at 5:49 pm #

    Why why why. Why do men not suffer the same ravages of cellulite? It boggles the mind. We women get all the lovely garbage, don’t we?

  5. Mox February 6, 2010 at 11:12 am #

    And it never fucking goes away. I have been working out five days a week, am down to a size four and still have mothertrucking cellulite. wtf, yo? bunk.

  6. Shona March 4, 2010 at 10:21 am #

    Lecithin helps get rid of cellulite! It’s in iceberg lettuce, eggs, soy, spinach, cauliflower, peanuts and apples.

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