Archive | 12:40 pm

What the Hell Kind of Event is This??

21 Jan

People, it pays to think it through before you create an event like this:

Explain to me what one does during a “Bridal Tasting” event…?

It’s Little Moments Like These That Make Me Hate My Friends

21 Jan

[Email from Claude after I told him that I had to study for class]  What will you be studying?  How to properly file medical files alphabetically?  I don’t want to ruin the end of the course for you, but a patient with a last name starting with Z will be at the back of the file cabinet.

[Text message from Boom Boom]  God I wish I could speak Spanish so I knew what the cleaning people at work were saying.

Those 2 are total fuckers.

Are You a Douche Bag?

21 Jan

A recent study* conducted by a world renowned researcher has shown that people who back up into parking spaces are actually douche bags.  Many individuals who do this believe that they are saving themselves time back backing into the space.  This is not, in fact, correct.

Take, as an example, one person who had to keep backing up, pulling forward, then backing up, then pulling forward, then backing up again.  While that person was fooling around with their spot, the very fancy researcher had pulled into her spot and was already walking into the building.  In fact, I believe that said researcher was enjoying her first cup of coffee and checking important the morning news** while that d bag was still trying to back into the god damned parking space.

Another finding suggests that those who pull into spots will actually laugh at those that back into spots at grocery stores.  Apparently, watching those people who backed into their spot realize that they can’t get to the trunk of the car to load the groceries provides a sense of joy to those that pull into spots.

*This scientific study was conducted by me this morning in the parking garage.
**News as featured on Perez Hilton.