Fuck You, Excel. Fuck You Very Much.

12 Jan

I have spent the last 3 hours staring at a stupid spreadsheet.  My eyes are bleeding.  I fucking hate excel with a fiery passion hotter than one million billion trillion gazillion bolts of lightening.





16 Responses to “Fuck You, Excel. Fuck You Very Much.”

  1. Dora January 12, 2010 at 2:25 pm #

    What do you have to do using Excel? Can I help?

    I have to scrub a stupid list. It’s just a really ugly process that happens to have excel. -CS

  2. Julie January 12, 2010 at 3:07 pm #

    you hate excel like i hate data entry. reminded me of the song “fuck you” by lily allen…it’s uh-mazing.

    I’m going to sue the company I work for for ruining my perfect vision…..maybe you should too??

    Let’s start a class action lawsuit against Corporate America. That would work. -CS

  3. ExPrincess January 12, 2010 at 3:08 pm #

    I completely understand, agree and am equally blind.

    Excel should be murdered. -CS

    • KJIABAI July 24, 2016 at 5:20 am #


  4. Tony Alva January 12, 2010 at 3:36 pm #

    Anything we can help you with? Not a guru, but pretty proficient with it…

    Sadly, no. I wish it was some formula. Instead I have to comb through the 600 names and figure out who still works here and what department their in. It’s awesome. -CS

  5. jon January 12, 2010 at 8:08 pm #

    Sounds like Excel needs a slap on the booty.

    And not in a good way. -CS

  6. Boom January 12, 2010 at 8:45 pm #

    You’re crazy. I heart Excel. Formulas complete me.

    Why do you have to lie to all my readers? No one loves Excel. -CS

  7. Brandi January 13, 2010 at 7:16 pm #

    “Sadly, no. I wish it was some formula. Instead I have to comb through the 600 names and figure out who still works here and what department their in. It’s awesome. -CS’

    Well that’s not Excel’s fault! But it does suck completely and you have my sympathy.

    It is!! There’s a problem with the sorting and the filtering and it can’t be fixed. I blame all of life’s evils on Excel. -CS

  8. m January 13, 2010 at 9:40 pm #

    fuck you too and the horse you rode in on……………

    Ummm….Is this your way of telling me you love Excel? -CS

  9. Steve May 2, 2012 at 7:04 am #

    still staring at a fucking formula thats entered in perfectly but still wont work!

  10. Sean June 20, 2013 at 6:10 pm #

    Fuck excel and it’s date formats,…it’s unexplained tendency to restrict read-write permissions out of fucking nowhere (open and edit a document 200 times and time number 201, it needs permission), for the features we don’t need, and every goddamn time that POS auto corrects some shit that I then spend 20 minutes figuring out how to turn it off or defeat. Excel, double, no triple…fuck you.

  11. R D April 28, 2014 at 8:09 am #

    We all hate this fuckin excel I just abhor excelllllll motherfucker excel

  12. Christy Mack April 28, 2014 at 8:18 am #

    Hello, I’am

  13. raul August 25, 2015 at 5:02 pm #

    so I hate excel my self. Im trying to put a date in. My own way cause thats how the hell i want it. so i go to cell i input 11:00 am, why? cause i feel like it. I dont want a.m. because it takes too much damn space, in this particular case. so i Input 11:00 am a whole bunch of #### appear why , cause my number is too long but how can it be since i made shortcuts to make sure it fits. I click on the freakin cell it says that is now a personalized hour cell.. i change it back to general changes my 11:00 am to .045. i input 11:00 am again cause it changed my rule again what the hell.

  14. Emma September 10, 2017 at 8:00 pm #

    …also, don’t ever try to install the Hortonworks ODBC Data Source in Excel. It won’t work, and it will probably make you cry.

  15. Kyle Rawdog December 14, 2017 at 12:03 am #

    I agree, Excel and even Synology Office can lick the dirtiest part of my taint. Even for 100 million dollars I wouldn’t stick my dick inside of Excel, and I have fuck sooooo many things. If given the choice the eat my own shit, puke it up, then eat the shit I puked up, or use Excel, I would choose option 1. Fuck you Excel in your dirty horrible poopshoot.

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