Pity Party For One, Your Table is Now Ready

7 Jan

I’m not sure which I hate more: my fat ass or going to the gym.  Lately it’s been going to the gym.  Ugh, this is not winding up to be the thin 2010 I had hoped for. 

What makes matters even worse is that I have my 15 year college reunion this year.  That’s right, 15 year reunion – I graduated from college when I was 12.  It’s awesome.  I’ll see all my old classmates and not only will I still be single, but I’ll be fat too.  Maybe if I’m lucky all my hair will fall out and I’ll suddenly develop a lazy eye.

I thought that watching The Biggest Loser might inspire me.  Yeah, not so much.  Instead I just sat on the couch and cried the whole entire time.  I don’t know what the hell it is about that show but it makes me weep like a freaking baby.  Every damn episode, I just can’t help myself.  At least I didn’t sit on the couch and eat my feelings while watching it.  I’ve got that going for myself.

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16 Responses to “Pity Party For One, Your Table is Now Ready”

  1. Michelle January 7, 2010 at 5:04 pm #

    That show makes me cry too! I love it! LOL

    I hate going to the gym. But I’m really trying to make an effort to get the fat off this year. It’s just really hard sometimes!

    “It’s really hard sometimes!” That’s what she said.

    I find that sitting on my couch is far more fun than exerting myself. Go figure. -CS

  2. Skylers Dad January 7, 2010 at 5:42 pm #

    We just had my 25th last summer, and of course I developed my first zit on my cheek below my eye that I have had in 10 years!

    Awesome, now I bet Simone will be coming to the party.

    Did you take lots and lots of pictures with your new friend, your zit? -CS

  3. BeckEye January 7, 2010 at 7:33 pm #

    I know how you feel. (Well, except for the part about crying over “The Biggest Loser.”) I sit here and make big plans to lose weight and then eat half a bag of chips. Apparently, they help me think. They just don’t help me act.

    Mmm…I love chips! What kind do you inhale? -CS

  4. jon January 7, 2010 at 8:33 pm #

    It’s a god damn class reunion for heavens sake, not a roast, or an autopsy!

    BTW – U got a lot going for yourself!

    Maybe while I’m there I’ll keep calling you so you can tell me I have a lot going for myself. 😉 -CS

  5. Jewcy Bits January 7, 2010 at 10:26 pm #

    You have a lot going for yourself…including your new dog and having me as a friend. Don’t worry, I am sure business behind Safeway will pick up .

    This cold weather has really been hitting by business hard. TWSS. -CS

    • Jewcy Bits January 9, 2010 at 12:22 am #

      What I would really like to know is WHY there is no link to my blog associated with my name. I need readers mofo.

      What the hell are you talking about? You’re on the blogroll, whore. -CS

  6. Julie January 8, 2010 at 3:06 am #

    Ugh I hear you, I keep seeing these fresh faced 19 year old girls and it’s killing me. damn youngsters.

    Thankfully there are few youngsters that hang out at my gym. There are, however, several cougars and some fine married men. -CS

  7. Debbie January 8, 2010 at 8:55 am #

    I cry during that show too. It gets to me.

    What the hell is it about that show?? It just makes me so weepy! -CS

  8. Emily January 8, 2010 at 10:52 am #

    LOL at “Maybe if I’m lucky all my hair will fall out and I’ll suddenly develop a lazy eye.”

    I watch the Biggest Loser, too. I find it inspiring. Most of the time when I watch it (but not always), I do some arm weights or sit ups or something. I feel bad sitting on the couch when the contestants are going through Last Chance workouts.

    Good for you for attempting to do some exercise during the show. My idea of exercising during the show is wiping away my tears. -CS

  9. Red January 8, 2010 at 1:05 pm #

    You look great! I hope you can meet someone who’s great, too. If not, I’m sure you can find a couple of other bitter bitches to get boozy Suzy with and snark the other attendees.

    It would certainly make for some wonderful mocking opportunities! -CS

  10. Del-V January 8, 2010 at 2:58 pm #

    When I went to my last college reunion I hired an escort. Jewcy impressed all my friends.

    With those party tricks of hers? -CS

    • Jewcy Bits January 10, 2010 at 12:20 pm #

      Of course. I always impress people with my “party tricks.” That’s how I make my tips.

      It’s incredible what you can do with those ping pong balls. -CS

  11. Bored Housewife January 8, 2010 at 7:58 pm #

    You know what show doesn’t make you cry? Celebrity Rehab. Too stunned to cry.

    Reunions suck, and I would like to say that I will never go to one again, but I know I’ll torture myself.

    You’d be surprised, that show makes me cry too.

    I think the college one would be kind of fun, in a strange kind of way. I look forward to seeing how fat my bitchy roommate got. -CS

  12. Kimmers January 8, 2010 at 9:46 pm #

    It could be worse… my fiance and I watch Biggest Loser while sitting on the couch stuffing our faces and moaning about how much weight we’ve put on in the last 6 months.

    I think you need to start another Operation Muffin Top. I will join!!

    Would you really? Because I keep thinking about it. The only hard part is that I’m royally lazy now… -CS

  13. Mox January 9, 2010 at 11:22 am #

    What are you so worried about? You look great. I’d do you.

    Aw, Mox, you’re too sweet to me. -CS

  14. NJlioness January 9, 2010 at 1:18 pm #

    Go to your reunion and “let them eat cake” about how fabulous you are!

    Mmm…cake. I do love cake. -CS

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