Archive | 1:52 pm

God Damn It, Mom. God Damn It.

21 Dec

My mother is one of those people that’s impossible to shop for.  If you ask her what she wants, she’ll tell you the same thing every year: “Nothing.  Save your money.  I don’t need anything.”  My sister and I try to work her over to get her to tell us one thing that she wants, she insists she wants nothing, so we end up getting her crap.  I do have to admit, however, that last year I got her some kick ass gifts, one of which included front row tickets to Mama Mia (on Broadway) which she was dying to see.

This year I had it all planned out: I would buy her the laptop sleeve that she’s been looking for since she bought her macbook last year.  I looked high and low and finally settled on a lovely handmade one that I found on Etsy.  I shelled out the big bucks, ordered it, and pat myself on my back.  (Is it pat or patted?  I don’t know)

It was all going super well right up until yesterday – when my mother decided to buy herself a $275 Burberry laptop case.  Um, how on earth am I supposed to compete with a Burberry case??  DAMN IT!!

This is exactly what she did 3 years ago when she kept telling my sister she wanted to quilted jacket.  My sister and brother-in-law picked one out from Eddie Bauer, and 3 days before Christmas my mom decided to buy herself one, from Burberry.

Thanks for ruining my kick ass gift idea, mom.  And a very Merry Christmas to you, whore.

On a totally unrelated note, I called my mother a whore yesterday when we were at brunch.  She wasn’t amused.  I could tell by the way that she hit me in the restaurant.  Whore.