When “Going Green” = “Seeing Red”

16 Dec

Those of you that follow The Catherinette Chronicles may remember the time that I found a scary certain something on the web.  The post that followed was one of the most commented ones that I’ve ever written.  Some of the comments were freaking hilarious, some were disturbing.  Another post followed, and then the maker of said product allowed me to do the interview.  I never wrote the interview, mainly because I’m lazy.  BUT I’ve decided that the time has come.

First things first: you need to read the post that inspired it all…

I just threw up in my mouth a little, no really. Damn it, why did I have to be eating lunch? Vomit taste in my mouth. YUCK!

Like I do most days at work, I was fooling around on the internet. Long story short, I ended up on the Etsy site. If you’ve never seen it before, you should go – right after you finish reading this post. It’s essentially on online marketplace for tons of great homemade goodies. Also some not-so-great homemade goodies. Either because the items have zero usage or because they’re as ugly as sin.

Anyway, being the environmentally responsible citizen I pretend that I am (she types just after drinking from her plastic straw in ther Styrofoam cup), I’m looking for some reusable sandwich baggies. I freaking hate throwing so many plastic bags away each year. Such an incredible waste.

So there I was happily perusing the search results from my “reusable” search term when I suddenly stumbled on these:

Can you tell what it is? Let me give you a hint. Here’s the description: “Nice to Your Ladybits and to Mother Nature’s!”

I just threw up, again.

People, these are reusable menstrual pads. That means, that you bleed all over them and then you wash them and then you use them again. Just threw up some more. That is gross! Look, I’m all for not generating a ton of waste (which is why I use tampons that are biodegradable) but THIS is just too far!

There are 2 major problems with this:

  1. Menstrual pads are gross as sin. You’re basically sitting in your own blood and they stick to you and then they wad up and you leak and I still have terrible nightmares from when I first got my period and had to use pads and would wake up soaked in my own blood and the thought is making me sick and probably you sick too and we should just stop here.
  2. If you look closely at the image, you’ll see that there are little pictures of sugar bowls and other baking implements. This print is all wrong! And don’t even get me started on the one that has camo print.

Okay, maybe I’m being too judgemental here. Maybe I should join the green revolution and just buy some and start wearing them (yuck) to save the planet.

No. Can’t do it.

But if you choose to do it, by all means. I’ll be honest with you here, this seller is actually a genius. There are people that take “going green” to a whole different level who would love to use these. If you’re one of them, here’s to you for loving the planet way more than I do.

17 Responses to “When “Going Green” = “Seeing Red””

  1. Michelle December 16, 2009 at 11:46 am #

    I’ll pass.

    I just threw up a little too.

  2. Jan @ Struck by Serendipity December 16, 2009 at 12:13 pm #

    What would be even grosser is showing a used one with stains. If you’re going to go down that road, you should at least get a red one. UGH.

  3. Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts December 16, 2009 at 12:14 pm #

    Uuuhhh.. ..NO….

  4. ullis December 16, 2009 at 2:13 pm #

    God, where do you put those when it’s time to wash them? Not in the laundry bin, that’s for sure. In a separate bag of their own? Opening that later on….
    No, that doesn’t work. Seriously. And you need like a gazillion to make it through.

    If ya wanna save the environment (at least more) the MoonCup is the shit!

  5. FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com December 16, 2009 at 3:10 pm #

    I still think that the Diva Cup is the best

    Or “The Keeper”, whatever brand you want to use 🙂

  6. Mox December 16, 2009 at 3:23 pm #

    The planet can go fuck itself if it thinks I will EVAH wears one of these.

    Sickest, nastiest thing I have ever seen and it’s CLEAN at this point.

  7. jon December 16, 2009 at 6:50 pm #

    I don’t know if I’m more appalled that I remember the first time that you found a scary certain something on the web….or that you are re-posting this topic…or that I’m replying to it. All Very Scary!

  8. Jeanne December 16, 2009 at 7:48 pm #

    Thank God I’m too old to have to make this choice.

  9. Suzanne December 16, 2009 at 7:58 pm #

    Ummm yeah. gross

  10. Alixandra Hice December 16, 2009 at 10:49 pm #

    You are fucking giving me nightmares! Thanks for that.

  11. Stella December 17, 2009 at 11:02 am #

    I would presume that you don’t toss the used ones in with the regular laundry, which means you’re probably running a load (or 5) in the washer just for these vile things, which is likely worse for the environment than actually just using a disposable pad. Aah, hippies. Full of grand ideas but never thinking them all the way through.

  12. Christy December 18, 2009 at 11:44 pm #

    too gross; I have seen those before though, as I was shopping for reusable nursing pads. breast milk stained pads weren’t as bad as these things must be!

  13. foxy luv December 20, 2009 at 8:34 pm #

    How about a new damn post already? I am tired of this stupid re-usable maxi pad nonsense.

    Get off your candied backside and entertain the people – and not with ping pong balls like you do at your other job.


  14. Dani December 20, 2009 at 8:57 pm #

    No way, ma’am. Just no way.

  15. Debralee December 23, 2009 at 11:43 am #

    Damn it woman…did you REALLY have to bring the grossness up one more time. That is the all time nastiest thing I have ever seen on the web and shame on the person who thought it was cute and green…..it just has red written all over it!

  16. The Ambiguous Blob December 23, 2009 at 12:54 pm #

    Why must you remind us? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???????

  17. Cuddleslut December 23, 2009 at 9:27 pm #

    Oh my god, I’ve seen those before and they never cease to creep me right out.

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