I Always Wanted Some Freckles

28 Oct

Un-boyfriend enjoys telling people that he dumped me.  He often neglects to mention that the real reason we broke up is that I didn’t see the relationship going any further and he thought we had a future together.  You say “tomato”, I say “I dumped you.”  Whatever.

The night before we broke up, we were at a huge party and I happened to let this hot red headed guy, let’s call him Freckles, give my hooters a squeeze.  Hey, I was drunk AND had a massive crush on Freckles.  Shockingly enough, that pissed Un-boyfriend off and he proceeded to hang all over me like white on rice. 

It’s been 10 years since Un-boyfriend and I broke up and 9 since Freckles moved away.  Yesterday, I got a facebook friend request from Freckles and I swooned the second I got it.  Right after accepting the request, I emailed Un-boyfriend,

You know who just sent me a facebook friend request?  That dude that squeezed my hooters in front of you the night before we broke up.  Man was he hot.  Still can’t see why you got so mad.  It’s not like you and I were dating or anything…oh wait, we were.

He responded back with,

You were a jerkwad that night.  I do remember you wearing some miller lite flashing light thing.  And you wonder why I hate you.  We probably would have lasted longer if I had just thrown some beads at you and yelled at you to show your tits.

Now, how about you make me a taco and while you’re at it, my bathroom needs a good scrub down.  Do it or I’ll report you to immigration.

It’s a wonder we didn’t work out.

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14 Responses to “I Always Wanted Some Freckles”

  1. Moiii October 28, 2009 at 3:58 pm #

    Hahaha – how could you have ever let that one get away? Oiy. Just curious though, why are you still e-mail each other? Cuz I’m just not feeling the love. 😉

    That’s how we express our “love” for one another, by harrassing each other and being hateful. It’s awesome. We can go up to 4 hours without being rude to each other. Assuming that we’re not actually talking for those 4 hours. -CS

  2. Mike October 28, 2009 at 3:58 pm #

    When’s the wedding?

    With Freckles?? It’s already happened, in my mind. -CS

  3. Red October 28, 2009 at 4:07 pm #

    Not only are redheaded boys adorable with their freckles, I can tell you from experience, they’re usually packing a decent sized wang. Just saying…

    As I recall, he did have decent sized hands. Sadly, I never saw his man bits. -CS

  4. carissajaded October 28, 2009 at 4:12 pm #

    Soooo… was freckles still single? Any more facebook messaging!? I expect updates! 🙂

    Nope, he’s still single AND he lives on the other side of the country. I could totally tell by his friend request that he wants me. I can read between the lines. -CS

  5. rockman October 28, 2009 at 4:21 pm #

    OUCH, I cen feel the love between you and Un. Good thing you broke it off when you did or someone would be doing time or be back on the south side of the Rio Grande…

  6. Del-V October 28, 2009 at 4:24 pm #

    You make tacos? I didn’t know you could cook!

  7. Belle October 28, 2009 at 5:22 pm #

    Can you make me tacos? I can’t wrap my mind around you guys not working out.

  8. Mimi October 28, 2009 at 5:50 pm #

    Oh don’t you just loooove ex boyfriends. I had a similar convo with mine yesterday. Such asses but it’s fun to know you still get under their skin ; )

  9. Wynn October 28, 2009 at 6:39 pm #

    You guys seem perfect for eachother!
    So, whazza with the redhead. Holy misspelling batman, I wrote “redhard” twice instead of redhead. Well, you get my brains drift on this one.

  10. Jess October 29, 2009 at 8:15 am #

    I gotta agree with Red…I had myself a Ginger once upon a time and holy wang Batman! Momma likey 🙂

  11. Jormengrund October 29, 2009 at 11:04 am #

    I don’t understand why you didn’t comply with un-boyfriend’s simple request..

    Making a taco isn’t that bad, is it?

    I mean, sheesh! You’d think he was asking you to move to the other side of the country and bang Freckles or something!

  12. BeckEye October 29, 2009 at 3:35 pm #

    I’ve never seen a redhead’s wang. But aren’t they usually of Irish descent? Irish guys aren’t known for packing heat.

  13. Nel October 29, 2009 at 6:41 pm #

    You say “tomato”, I say “I dumped you.” BAHAHAHAHA!!!

  14. Vicki October 30, 2009 at 6:02 am #

    That’s friggen hilarious!

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