Archive | 12:47 pm

Stephanie Meyer Can Suck It

8 Oct

Someone please explain to me why the Twilight series is popular.  Please.

I just don’t get it.  On Lola’s recommendation I started reading the book and quickly determined that it was quite possibly one of the lamest, most boring books that I had ever cracked open.  Night after night I would sit down to try to get through it and could only manage about 5 to 10 pages before the eye rolling over Bella’s stupid behavior gave me a headache.  I made it to the scene where he was glowing in the meadow and I closed the book.  Fuck that, it sucks.  Seriously.

Vampire fiction is supposed to have action, suspense, romance, and (most importantly) a combination of sex and blood – though not at the same time.  Twilight just has teenage hormones, homework, and a beat up pick up truck.  I don’t know about you, but there’s nothing out there that screams out “VAMPIRE”.

I’d take Sookie Stackhouse to Bella the Bore any day of the week.  Oh, and Eric from True Blood is one trillion billion gazillion times hotter than stupid Edward Cullen.

On a related side note, I would totally jump on Taylor Lautner/Kellan Lutz given half the chance.  Granted, I can’t tell them apart and have ZERO idea who is in the picture below, but he has a hot body and mama likey.