Archive | 3:57 pm

Perhaps Whoring isn’t so Whorrible

21 Aug

Maybe we have it all wrong.  Maybe being a hooker really is everything it’s cracked up to be.  I mean sure, you’ve got to handle all sorts of dicks and probably nasty sweaty dudes that smell like cheese, but still.  I’m thinking that there are probably some major advantages to making cash the old fashioned way.

  1. You make your own hours.  No more 40 hour work weeks.  Instead, you can just do some freaky deaky 7 Diamond Hooker things and make the big bucks.
  2. You don’t have to wake up at the ass crack of dawn on a Monday morning and hope the coffee in the pantry was made on Friday.  It’s possible that you might be sucking on a wiener that hasn’t been washed since Friday, but you don’t necessarily have to do that first thing Monday morning.
  3. You don’t have to be trapped in a cubicle.  Taking it in your backside in the alley behind the Safeway ensures that you get plenty of air.
  4. There’s no need to dress in business casual.  All you need are platform heels, hot pants and a tube top.  That’s gotta be more comfortable than pantyhose in the middle of August.

Sounds like I might need to put my 2 week’s notice in…