Fun with Foxy

17 Aug

This afternoon Foxy is off at the doctor’s office doing whatever kind of things doctors want you to do when you’re pregnant.  Before she drove off to throw her legs into stirrups and get finger banged by the doctor, she and I decided to have a little lunch.  We typically drive in the same car when we go to lunch together, but since she had an appointment afterwards, she ended up following me to the place.

People, I’m here to inform you that Foxy is the slowest driver on the face of this earth.  You may think to yourself, “No, Catherinette, my aunt Gladys/uncle Harold is the slowest driver on this earth.”  You are wrong.  In a drag race, your aunt Gladys/uncle Harold could easily beat Foxy.  All they would need to do is exceed 25 miles per hour and she’d be sucking their dust.  Seriously.  WTF.  Foxy, kick it up a notch.  I don’t care if your motto is “arrive alive”, mine is “arrive today.”  Let’s go.

So she’s getting her lab work done and she starts text messaging me:

  • Foxy: A bunch of ur people r here at the lab.  They r here for pee tests and they all have do rags.
  • Me: Are they standing around holding tacos?
  • Foxy: No, I was wondering about that.  Now another dude is here for a d test.  I think he will fail.
  • Me: What if the test was for the clap?  Would he pass?
  • Foxy: Not sure.  Does having the clap make you smell like a bong?
  • Me: Let me ask Claude.  I’ll get back to you.
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8 Responses to “Fun with Foxy”

  1. Bored Housewife August 17, 2009 at 3:28 pm #

    LOL alone in my living room.

    I hope you didn’t hurt yourself LOLing. -CS

  2. Del-V August 17, 2009 at 4:28 pm #

    I got the clap just by using a public bathroom… A public bathroom full of hookers.

    That is so weird that you got that from a bunch of hookers. Though it probably would have been worse if you had gotten it from your mom or something. -CS

  3. SiteInsights August 17, 2009 at 5:40 pm #

    Having the clap does not make you smell like a bong, however smelling like a bong all the time increases you’re odds of getting the clap exponentially…

    Damn impaired judgement!

  4. foxy luv August 17, 2009 at 7:00 pm #

    OK – first of all I was going 25 because we were in a damn 25 mile an hour RESIDENTIAL zone. It is summer time, the kids are off of school, which means they are out running the streets (especially in Cath’s hood – I’m just sayin’) I am not into mowing down brats, particularly when I am hungry and on my way to lunch. Too much paperwork.
    As for the trip for blood work – I don’t know what the hell was up at that place. I don’t speak the Spanglish – but one of Cath’s people was there for a pee test, but was having trouble delivering the goods. That was the gist of it. He spent a lot of time drinking water and chatting with his do ragged buddies. Then, the dude who smelled like a bong walked in and asked loudly, “Um, like is this where you go to do a drug test?” When the nice lady at the desk said yes, he handed her his paper work. At which point he saw the office water cooler and said, “Rad! Water! Like, is the water free?”
    Prediction – he is going to test positive for every drug under the sun and then some.
    It was a real cross-section of society. The cherry on top was when the little old man with MS came in – in a wheelchair, to their third floor office, and was told he could not have his lab work done because his doctor had forgotten to include his diagnosis code. He started yelling, “I have MS – that’s my diagnosis!”
    It was special times, my friend. Special times.

  5. mommasunshine August 17, 2009 at 7:15 pm #

    OMG. LOL-ing here all by myself.

  6. Mimi August 18, 2009 at 6:42 pm #

    My friend has a new Volvo which keeps a record of your average speed. She called me one day to say hers went up one mile per hour to 30! Seriously it’s awful riding in the car with her!

  7. AC Siapno August 19, 2009 at 5:38 pm #

    First of all once I made fun of my husband for driving slow when he’d followed me home one night… It turns out that he was just keeping a good distance behind me since I’ve been known to stop short a few times and wanted to know why I was driving so slow!

    Secondly, that story about the pee place is hysterical! I took one for my current job and they were out of the english forms so I had to fill one out in spanish… Pretty sure I didn’t do it right and they were all sorts of surprised when I passed cause they don’t get to give good news often! Hummm…

  8. cocktailsattiffanys January 5, 2011 at 10:18 am #

    Am I the only one that didn’t really think Foxy was preggers? I thought it was a joke!

    -L

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