Archive | 2:28 pm

Professor Claude – An Update

6 Aug

Claude felt that he was totally misrepresented in the last post because I did not share his side of the story.  Fine, Claude.  FINE!  Here we go…

When the topic first came up about this virginal young Mary, Claude wrote:

He started asking me questions, such as, isn’t nibbling the honeypot dirty? doesn’t it make you sick? can you still kiss someone after you’ve done that?  umm . . . . if you are asking questions that basic and fundamental, then I don’t have time for your foolishness.  Plus, I’m sure in the middle of a lesson he’d feel uncomfortable and then I’d be left out to dry.  No thank you

Wah.  That’s what I have to say to Claude.  Wah.  So what.  Just give him a freaking drink and tell him to chill the fuck out and then, as The Wonders sing, do that thing you do.

I hope you’re fucking happy now.

Professor Claude

6 Aug

Everyone has a first time.  It’s always magical – or tragic – but there’s usually a good story that follows.  In my case, it was some random dude that I met at the beach and it happened a very, very long time ago.  As luck would have it, when I was in college, I was also someone’s first.  At the time, it was thrilling to think that this guy had never been with anyone else and he would always remember me as his first one.  Looking back on it, I think it was probably the most disappointing 18 seconds of my life.

Whatever.

As luck would have it, our own dearest Claude has been given a very unique opportunity.  Recently, he met a young Mary – a virginal young Mary who has yet to be introduced to the delights that the world has to offer him.  Claude has the chance to dishonor him forever and shame him into doing dirty and debauched things that most people only see in adult movies educate him.  Claude, however, is going to pass.

Here’s my question: why?

Do it, Claude.  Do it for yourself, for him, and for all his future partners.  Suck it up and take one for the team (literally and figuratively).

People, what say you?