Why I’m Going to Kill Claude

28 Jul

In a little over 40 days, it will have been a year since I had my hands on a peen.  [Go ahead and take a moment to weep for me.]

MEANWHILE, Claude has been whoring his way through the streets of DC, Toronto, and just about anywhere else he takes his naked self.  “Meatings” in the mens room, back alleys, fancy encounters at 5 star hotels, even the local rest stops.  Claude doesn’t discriminate, if there’s a honeypot in need, he is there to the rescue!!

We often joke about resetting his peen counter.  Usually it’s about how tragic it must be for him since 3 or 4 days might pass before he is playing Winnie the Pooh climbing a tree trying to get the honey from the honeypot.  Well, that all changed today when he sent me this message:

It has been two hours since I last saw a peen or honey pot.  Just an FYI.

Damn you, Claude.  Damn you straight to honeypot hell.  I hope the next one you find is covered in ants!!

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4 Responses to “Why I’m Going to Kill Claude”

  1. Melanie July 28, 2009 at 3:40 pm #

    He really must go to the wine tasting.

    However, it is NOT nice to torment your friends when you are getting some and they aren’t.

    He really should come along with us. I emailed me and he hasn’t responded yet. No doubt because he was very busy with some honeypot somewhere.

    CLAUDE!! -CS

  2. jon July 28, 2009 at 6:05 pm #

    If this peenless mine shaft of misfortrune goes much deeper. Mr. Right’s On Line Dating Profile will need to include: Cums with Flashlight, Crowbar and Safety Goggles.

    If this misfortune goes much further, people will need to come up with some moving eulogies for my funeral. -CS

  3. Chef Green July 29, 2009 at 11:49 am #

    Claude and I are meant for each other. I just know it.

    I’m sure you probably have seen e/o on Manhunt. 🙂 -CS

  4. matt August 3, 2009 at 11:06 am #

    lol. honeypot.

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