Archive | 12:08 pm

My Stripper Name

18 Jun

You have to wonder how hookers, porn stars, and strippers come up with their stage names.

I do, however, know that Jenna Jameson came up with her name because she wanted a JJ name and her brother suggested Jameson because they happened to be drinking Jameson whiskey at the time.  In fact, I know a lot of things about Jenna Jameson (other than she’s a porn star who is VERY lippy).  It’s incredible what you’ll learn by reading someone’s autobiography.  Coincidentally, although she’s a very savvy business woman, she’s also kind of stupid.  Shocker, I know.

Anyway, a few years aback some friends and I decided we’d come up with our own stripper names – just in case Corporate America didn’t pan out.  As I was drinking an iced mocha at the time, I was inspired.  The name I went with is “Cocoa Latte.”  Just imagine the house lights going down in some dingy ass bar and hearing the announcer say,

Ladies and gentlemen [even though it would only be 2 toothless strung out strippers, the manager, and some fat old clients] please put your hands together and welcome to the stage COCOA LATTE!

It’s gold!

What would your stripper name be?