Archive | June, 2009

I Can Feel My IQ Dropping

30 Jun

Once again my sister has the remote control.  Thankfully, today I’m not being forced to watch “House Hunters”.  Instead, she’s decided that tonight we should watch “NYC Prep”.

It’s like the real version of “Gossip Girl”.  Oh, wait, or the NYC version of “Laguna Beach”.  It’s freaking awful.  I’ve just spent the last 5 minutes watching 3 girls (all around 16 and under) discussing how they’ve all been out with this one dude.  Apparently, if you’re a rich girl that lives in NYC you’re drawn to total f’ing tools.  The guy seriously spent more time flipping his hair during one date than all of the girls combined one the show.

Oh, sweet.  Since she can’t stand commercials we’re now watching some retarded exposes on Michael Jackson.

If she doesn’t stop soon, I’m going to wrestle the remote out of her hand and beat her with it.

Just the Tip Tuesday (06/30/09)

30 Jun

I’m a sucker for a funny man.  What woman isn’t?  I’m not confessing that I have a mad crush on Larry the Cable Guy or Jeff Foxworthy (or whatever the hell that dude’s name is).  I don’t do well with that whole WT genre.  F that, I totally pass.

I do, however, find myself drawn to men that have a more developed sense of humor.  Dudes like Steve Martin (who rocks the white hair), and even Billy Murray (a teeny tiny bit).  But my favorite one of all, has got to be Chevy Chase.

fletch_movie_image_chevy_chase

Come on!  The dude is a comedic genius.  And sure his talk show never panned out, but man, is the dude HILARIOUS in Fletch.  That has to be one of my all time favorite movies.  I could easily sit down and watch that movie over and over again.  I will admit that the haircut that he’s sported all of these years hasn’t necessarily been the most fashionable (unless you happen to be a little Dutch boy), but still, I’d do him.

A Very Disturbing Trend

29 Jun

In the last three months, there has been a huge increase in people finding this blog by using a search term that disturbs me.  It’s worse than pooping trannies, pooping on someone, golden showers, etc. 

There are people out there that are actually looking for information about “Steve Buscemi”.  Just one post about how he grosses me out is enough to get 320 hits for people doing a search on his name.  Here’s my question: why?  No, seriously, why would anyone want to do a search for Steve Buscemi?

I mean, he’s a good actor and all, but really?  Steve Buscemi?

Different strokes, I guess…

When Good Toilets Go Bad

29 Jun

This morning at 7:15, Damien and Lucy(fer) burst through my bedroom door.  Next year, remind me to take one of the rooms with a door lock when we go on vacation.  I groggily asked them who they hell they thought they were and that’s when Damien excitedly announced that the toilet had just thrown up.

  • Catherinette: What?
  • Damien:  The toilet throwed up!
  • Catherinette: What do you mean?
  • Damien: It spit water up into the air and it went all over the place!!

I have never seen anyone seen so excited over an overflowing toilet.  Not even a plumber that knows that he’s going to ass rape you when he overcharges you for cleaning up the mess you made.  I politely responded to Damien then threw him out of my room and told him to come back in 2 hours.  It’s a pain in the ass that the kids can’t tell time because he thought “2 hours” meant “15 minutes”.

As it turns out, my sister and brother-in-law had had quite the adventure that morning.  After stopping up the toilet, my sister enlisted the help of her hubcap to help her “fix” the toilet.  He went after it with a plunger and the toilet was not pleased.  It was so angry, in fact, that it literally spewed water straight up into the air and all over the floor.  Both he and my sister were covered in poo water.  Frankly, I’m surprised I didn’t hear a string of obscenities when this all went down.  Perhaps they were both too shocked to respond in that way.

My sister told me the whole story after I finally dragged myself out of bed.  When asked about the whole debacle my brother-in-law’s response was, “I don’t want to talk about it.  I just want to forget the whole thing ever happened.”

Hey, we’ve all been there.  But I’m pretty sure that for most of us what we’re trying to forget doesn’t involve getting showered in poo water.  At least, I hope that’s the case.

Oh. My. God.

28 Jun

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

Oh my God!

Please tell me that you watched the latest episode of “Harper’s Island”!!  If you don’t watch the show, I’m going to need to know why.  Explain yourself!!  You have no excuse.  They have all the episodes on CBS, TV.com, and Netflix.  Go, catch up.  If you do watch the show and haven’t seen the latest episode (number 11), I suggest you stop reading right this very second.

Oh my God!  So freaking good.  Seriously, please tell me that you watched it so that we can discuss poor Cal and Chloe.  I actually believed that they would make it off of the island.  How lame is it that I yelled “No!” and then started weeping when it all happened?  Then I had to explain myself to my sister who happened to walk in the room at that exact moment.  I told her I was watching the show and she just said, “You are so lame,” and then walked out of the room.  You know what?  She’s the lame one!!  She doesn’t watch the show because she says it’s too scary.  The scary thing is that she’s missing out on some high quality programming.

And know what else?  I’ve said all along that Jimmy (recently featured on JTT) was involved.  I am SO right!  There’s no way that he would have cheated death TWICE and not have something to do with it.  He did it!!  He’s Wakefield’s kid, which also makes him Abby’s brother, which also means that they are gross because they made out.  Yuck.  Incest is so gross.

Oh my God!

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25 Jun

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The Difference Between Catherinette and Claude

24 Jun

Catherinette goes for a ferry ride.  Claude prefers to ride a fairy.