Claude’s Latest Adventure

18 May

Saturday night I received a message from Claude instructing me to call him immediately if not sooner so that he could tell me all about a recent “romantic” encounter with a massive peen.  Having just returned from the vet with bad news about Cujo, I didn’t call him back.

Today, he shared his story with me.  And the story is so juicy and magical that I’m now sharing it with you…

Friday night a bunch of us decided to go check out this new bar and bearhappy hour they are starting.  We stayed there until around 10 or so and Mary Diva and I decided we wanted to hit up the Eagle.  You know what the Eagle is right?  Briefly, its the leather daddy bar in town.  We’ve been going there a lot recently because it is full of mens, not boys lol. 

So Mary Diva and I, along with our friend, got to the Eagle around 12 or so.  It was pretty dead, so the three of us were just hanging out talking and drinking.  Now, part of the beauty of the Eagle is that the mens there are often looking to engage in political discourse there in the bar, or on the back porch.  So being that we are all three ladies, we would often break apart to look around for debate partners.  At one point, Mary Diva and friend were out on the porch looking to debate and I was standing inside at the bar.  I had noticed this cute twink-ish boy earlier in the evening and was giving him the eye.  A few minutes later he went to the bathroom and then stopped to talk to me on his way out. 

So we chatted for a bit, which lead to some making out.  We made out until the lights came on and they started throwing people out.  We were going to then exchange numbers and go on a real date, but then he was like I want to come home with you.  Being a lady, how could I refuse!?!  Once we got outside I could see that he was young and asked him his age.  He said 16, so I was like great Chris Hansen is on his way to my apartment now.  I then found out that he’s 24, turning 25 next week.  So he’s only two months younger than my little sister, lovely.  Haha. 

We got back to my place and started making out and stripping down.  When I got him to his underwear, Catherinette I’m not lying, his bulge stretched all the way over to his hip.  It was huge.  Huge I tell you.  I would say a solid 8.5-9 inches and as big around as red bull can.  Huge.  So we did lots of making out and other fun things and then he did a couple things that had me worried he might want to poke me.  So I asked and it turns out he is primarily a top.  I told him that no one has done that in 8 years so not to get any bright ideas.

When we were chatting the next morning I found out that he was laid-off last fall and had to move back in with his parents and just recently started a new job.  When I was walking him to metro I asked him if he needed to call his parents and tell them to cancel the Amber alert.  Hehehe.

8 Responses to “Claude’s Latest Adventure”

  1. Cosmo May 18, 2009 at 10:35 am #

    Sounds like a good Saturday night/sunday morning to me!

    I always like to use the line “How would you like to have
    pancakes for breakfast?” for that situation.

    The fellas seem to love it. 😉

  2. Chef Green May 18, 2009 at 10:46 am #

    OOOOOohhhhh Claude! That dirty, nasty, whorin’ fella! He’s kind of my hero, I think.

    But seriously, why is it that the “cute twinky boys” always have these massive starship peens!???? It’s like a crime to humanity or something. “Mens” should get the big ones, boys should be stuck with..boy parts.

    • Claude May 18, 2009 at 11:44 am #

      Chef Green I could not agree with you more! I asked him in the morning how he wasn’t passing out from all the blood leaving the rest of his body to fill that thing.

  3. Chef Green May 18, 2009 at 7:08 pm #

    Claude, you thrill and delight me. How deliciously mean of you:)

  4. douchegirl May 18, 2009 at 8:24 pm #

    Oh man…. it’s stories like this one that make me LOVE the gays.

    Also, the links to Urban Dictionary had me laughing out loud haha.

  5. Wynn May 19, 2009 at 10:53 am #

    Oh oh, although I’m a girl (with a vagina) and into boys, I too have noticed that the smaller boys (ie the ones that are my height) have large dingdongs, and the taller boys have.. not as hugely oversized dingdongs. It’s interesting. Lucky me that I like normal sized peens and tall boys.

  6. Dani May 22, 2009 at 3:49 pm #

    I learned WAY much than I wanted to from that post, but it was very entertaining.

  7. skycastles May 22, 2009 at 5:25 pm #


    My only comment to your post can be summed up by a ’90s throwback:

    “You go girl!”

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