Full Circle

10 May

God f’ingdamn it.  Let me just start by mentioning that I had written this clever post only to have the ENTIRE thing lost when I hit publish because I’d lost my internet connection.  Damn it.  Now I have to try to remember everything that I wrote the first time around, which will clearly not be as clever.  DAMN IT!! 

It was exactly a year ago today that I posted my profile on a free online dating site.  And it was on that day that I sent a wink to 3D.  The next day he sent me an email message, and that was the beginning of our tumultuous relationship.  For shits and giggles, I figured I might as well throw my profile back up.  After all, it’s not like single guys are beating down my door (and that peen counter is starting to make me seriously depressed).

I spent tons of time writing a clever(ish) profile and picking just the right photos for the profile.  One of those pics just happens to be from when 3D took me home to meet his mom and dad.  For some reason, that picture has always drawn a lot of attention.  No, there’s no nudity in the picture.  In fact, I’m fully clothed and not showing any cleavage whatsoever.

It’s been less than an hour since the profile went up, and already 2 people have been blocked.  The first was a tool that im’ed me, and happens to be older than my dad.  The second guy was just a geeky tool.  He’s no Ira Glass, if you know what I mean.

I decided to take a look at my matches, and guess who was on page 2 of my search results?  None other than 3D.  I resisted the urge to click on his profile – mainly because I didn’t want him to know that I had been looking at it.  He might get the wrong idea.  So I did what any smart woman would do.  I logged out and logged back in with the anonymous profile I created a year ago.  His profile is not as funny as it was the first time around, and the pics are nowhere near as good.  I can tell that he created the profile back in January AND he hasn’t logged in since May 3rd.  I can only assume that he’s met a new victim girl.

The funny thing is that he HATED that we had met online.  He was so embarrassed, in fact, that he told his friends and family that we had met at a bar.  He swore up and down that he would NEVER do online dating again.

Then again, so did I….

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8 Responses to “Full Circle”

  1. Chef Green May 10, 2009 at 8:56 pm #

    Shit! The universe really has it out for you, CS. Full Circle with 3-D and a lost post. Poo, hiss. Oh well…I’m holding on to the hope that you can find some hot internet peen shortly.

  2. MisstressM May 10, 2009 at 11:33 pm #

    Online dating is like an addiction that none of us admits to having, but its also not something we are willing to kick.

  3. Del-V May 11, 2009 at 5:32 am #

    I’ve met you, Pistols and Jewcy on line. Yeah, it was from blogging and not through a dating site (or one of those “Adult Services” ads on Craig’s List – I’m talking to you Pistols). I think it’s pretty normal to make on-line friends in this day and age. It’s not like we met at a methadone clinic. Now that would be awkward. Well… not where I live in Baltimore. But in other places it could be.

  4. Red May 11, 2009 at 7:28 am #

    I’ve done the online dating thing and it has brought me the man I’ve been most serious about as well as a guy I dated semi-seriously when we broke up for a while (who I think of as “the understudy”). Neither of them wanted to say we met online. My guy has a real “meet cute” story he can tell about us meeting on the metro. (Everything about it is true except that it isn’t how we met.) The understudy used to tell people we met at a party through friends. I always tell people I met my boyfriend online because I want them to know it can work.

  5. rockman May 11, 2009 at 7:55 am #

    My wife and I met online and it was lust at first site. Now, 26 months later, we are happily married and still boinking like a couple of bunnies.

    There is someone out there for you, I am sure and dont let 3D or anyone else make you feel guilty about searching for your soulmate.

  6. Melrox May 11, 2009 at 9:41 am #

    I met my husband at a bar playing poker. Drunk and gambling. Both of us.

    I do have two friends that met online when she was in Texas and he was in Hawaii. They have been married for 6 years now and just brought home their first baby.

    It can happen.

  7. jon May 11, 2009 at 10:23 am #

    I don’t know that you can completely blame online dating for this, but at some point: Love isn’t destiny. It’s epidemiology.

  8. Amadeo May 12, 2009 at 5:09 pm #

    Maybe they should do like Amazon and let other people they dated leave a review.

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