I May Be A Pig, But Swine Flu Is Not My Fault

27 Apr

Unless you live in cave or a hole in the ground, you’ve heard about the Swine Flu which seems to be spreading like wildfire (or like Foxy’s legs at the bus station during high season).  As of the time of this posting 149 people have died in Mexico.

No, I am not related to any of them.  In fact I don’t know any of them.

No, I don’t have the flu.

Stop blaming me and my cousins for the spreading of the virus.

Boom Boom and I had a wonderful email exchange all about the horrors of this terrible flu.  She was very supportive and not racist or discriminatory in any way what so ever.

  • Boom Boom: Can you tell “your people” to stop spreading this crazy bird flu to Americans?  One of my friends at work needs to cancel her honeymoon in the Riviera Maya this weekend because of it.
  • Me: We’re angry and we demand attention.  I just went over to Foxy’s cubicle and coughed all over her stuff.  Sucks to be your friend, but not as much as it sucks to be those dead people.
  • BB: Why are you so angry?  You have jobs…like cooking and cleaning and doing people’s lawns.  Stop coughing all over people’s stuff.  Foxy has to be worried enough about getting sick from her “night job” without having to worry about your me-he-can flu too.
  • Me: Have you ever seen how dirty those hotel bathrooms are?  You people are pigs!
  • BB: I always try to pick up my dirty towels instead of just leaving them on the floor of my bathroom.  Don’t look at me…

9 Responses to “I May Be A Pig, But Swine Flu Is Not My Fault”

  1. pistols at dawn April 27, 2009 at 12:00 pm #

    Well, I’m going to quarantine myself someplace where no Mexican would ever go: a high school graduation ceremony.

  2. k April 27, 2009 at 12:17 pm #


  3. Del-V April 27, 2009 at 12:39 pm #

    I got the Irish flu from Mexican beer.

  4. caribbeanlurker April 27, 2009 at 2:31 pm #


    I shouldn’t be laughing about this !
    I can’t go to my office till May 6th due the flu…it would be fun if I could go to the movies but heck they are closing them too.

    My bestfriend got married this weekend and they are spending their honeymoon in Florida, so if you see a report of a case in there you know whose fault it was.

  5. jon April 27, 2009 at 2:34 pm #

    Its not your fault that the symptoms of Swine flu are often mistaken for the after party associated with consuming spicy bean and cheese burritos.

  6. Chef Green April 27, 2009 at 4:18 pm #

    Ah, delicious pearls of uprorarious racism! You delight me.

  7. The Ambiguous Blob April 27, 2009 at 4:31 pm #

    I’ve always wanted to be a latina. But I guess now I should specify that I want to be a non-Mexican swine flu-having latina.

  8. evenrant April 28, 2009 at 7:27 am #

    Are you sure that Foxy is not spreading this around at the bus stations?

  9. Melrox April 28, 2009 at 10:46 am #

    Am I wrong for forwarding a portion of that e-mail to my me-he-can friend?

    I live a good week away from you in DC traffic (about 1.5 hrs without). No masks here.

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