It’s All Coming Back to Me Now, Just Like Celine Dion Said it Would

22 Apr

Bitches, I am hungover.  As a matter of fact, when I woke up this morning, I was still drunk.  And you would be too if you had consumed the amounts of alcohol I did last night – after eating only some fruit and a Fiber One bar in the whole day.  Wise choice on my part.

Ugh, it sucks. (twss)

What also sucks is that I’m getting flashes of what actually happened last night (aside from my emotional post last night for which I apologize since I’m sure some of you found it to be boring and were disappointed that there was no talk of Mustangs or peen).  Let’s review, shall we?

  1. I left the bar before paying for my last round of drinks.
  2. But it all worked out because I left my credit card there since I had started a tab.  Yeah, that’s right, I’m the drunk fool that left their card at the bar.  What?  WHAT?
  3. I hugged one of our senior managers, while I was bombed, and said, “You’re a rock.  A ROCK!” and then patted her on the back.  Don’t think she cared for that.
  4. But the highlight of the evening (read: most embarrassing moment which I wish I hadn’t remembered) had to be about 10 minutes before I left when I proved to my friends that I was taking yoga.  The proof came in the form of me doing downward facing dog (look it up if you don’t know what it is) in the middle of the bar – right in front of my boss and a table of her peers.

My mom would be so proud…

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10 Responses to “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now, Just Like Celine Dion Said it Would”

  1. Amadeo April 22, 2009 at 8:08 am #

    Think of the downward facing dog as a gift for those who were leaving.

    It’s like the gift that keeps on giving. -CS

  2. Cinnamon & Honey April 22, 2009 at 8:12 am #

    Could’ve been worse. Pole dancing could have been involved.

    Thankfully, I’ve never been THAT drunk. -CS

  3. Chef Green April 22, 2009 at 9:21 am #

    I’m so glad I’m not the only one that does assholic things like that. Recently, I had to stumble home (read, essentially be carried…) by my stepbrother’s wife. I couldn’t stop apologizing for my bad form, which made the shame all the more delicious to my audience.

    Toxic Whore Shock Wine, for one?

    You were carried home by his wife?? Nice! -CS

  4. Dani April 22, 2009 at 10:30 am #

    I am sure they were all impressed with your downward facing dog abilities. In fact, you will probably get promoted today.

    My boss ended up stopping by my desk the next day. I was sure it was for a lecture on how I need to control myself when I drink. Thankfully, it wasn’t. -CS

  5. Tony Alva April 22, 2009 at 12:07 pm #

    Chick, You don’t wear underwear right? Uh oh….

    Thankfully, I was wearing pants. -CS

  6. Jan April 22, 2009 at 12:31 pm #

    That’s awesome. #4 might be hard to live down!

    Tell me about it… -CS

  7. The Ambiguous Blob April 22, 2009 at 2:06 pm #

    This makes me feel better about myself. Thanks.
    ALSO! I left not one, but 2- count them, one. two. credit cards at the bar for St. Patty’s last year. And had to pick them up the next day. Both of them. BUT I did not do yoga in the bar, which is really why this makes me feel better.

    Wow, that is pretty impressive. -CS

  8. Wynn April 22, 2009 at 5:37 pm #

    Yeah, you could have confessed to everyone that you had syphilis, fell off the chair and rolled on the floor out of the room (like a whale), then waking up the next day regretting that you told everyone and send out a friend of yours to tell said everyone that you were joking last night. That was a classic. I have never, together with eight other people, moved a chair away from someone that fast.

    Yeah, not so much! -CS

  9. WendyB April 22, 2009 at 6:17 pm #

    Yep, I’ve had nights like that. But I like to add “throwing up in the back seat of the cab.”

    Thankfully, I’ve never had to do that. -CS

  10. Srg April 23, 2009 at 6:04 am #

    Downward facing dog??? OMG – I almost spit my tea at my screen! I’ve totally done the “go out on a worknight and show up the next day still woozy” thing. It’s not fun. And yes it’s been getting worse with age. Totally sucks.

    Why must age do this to our bodies?? WHY? -CS

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