Little Piggy Wings

6 Apr

The planets have aligned.

Hell has frozen over.

Pigs are flying everywhere.  (actually, this has been the case for some time as the kind people at Southwest always let me board their planes)

We have reached the 1st of Never.

People, something incredible happened over the weekend.  Something magical.  Before you get all excited and start checking out the peen counter, I’ll need you to calm down.  It wasn’t THAT magical.

I met two boys on Saturday.  TWO! 

And both of them flirted with me! 

And both of them were interested in me! (or so it seemed to me when one kept touching my arm and the other my leg-though not at the same time)

And one even asked for my number!!

Sure, he was kind of hammered when we chatted-all 3 hours of the time we were together.  Yet he still managed to remember how much he clearly adored me AND our shared love for Rock of Love: Bus.  Know how I know?  Because he text messaged me last night!  Woo hoo!  We spent most of the show text messaging one another.

Did he ask me out on a date?  YES!!  And by “yes” I actually mean “no”.  But still, boys flirted with me!  Cute boys with real jobs that don’t drive yellowish Mustangs and are cute and only drink for fun and not because they have lousy lives and both of them were single and of legal drinking age and sober enough to walk in a straight line and could form coherent sentences!!

Life is sweet…

Though I’m sure someone will rain on my parade and one of my friends will tell me that the older guy is a functional alcoholic that lives in his mom’s basement, and the other guy is only 24 and never finished High School.  Damn it!  Life sucks!

Don’t forget to check out Muffin Top(ple) Monday and my covert pics of some chunky monkey and her camel toe.  It’s all klass at The Catherinette Chronicles today.

8 Responses to “Little Piggy Wings”

  1. Chef Green April 6, 2009 at 3:42 pm #

    God Damn!! I was sooooo hoping that the peen counter would be returned to happy “Zero Hours” positioning. Close enough, though. Maybe I you should invest in some ‘peen attracting crystals’ or something? Maybe a mandala? Some kinda hippy-New Age vaginal VooDoo might be in order now.

    Or just more booze.

  2. Cinnkitty April 6, 2009 at 5:04 pm #

    Sooooo..does this mean pigs flew out of your ass? Is that what you are saying? I’m confused… ;P

  3. Dani April 6, 2009 at 6:05 pm #

    It is one step closer to the peen. It is like pre peen.

  4. The Alleged Ringleader April 6, 2009 at 6:50 pm #

    Oh YAY!!! This is GREAT news! You go girl, now you need to hook both of these boys and make them fight for your time and affection!

  5. Del-V April 6, 2009 at 8:15 pm #

    Odd. I don’t recall seeing you out this weekend…

  6. Maggie Garcia April 6, 2009 at 10:28 pm #

    Congrats! That’s a wonderful feeling. Especially the leg and arm touching.

  7. The Ambiguous Blob April 7, 2009 at 1:58 am #

    Good job! I was texting my sister during Rock of Love, discussing how gross that last kiss with Taya was. Fucking ew.

  8. Jewcy Bits April 7, 2009 at 5:22 am #

    NO F’in Way! I’m always the last to know. Being thisclose to two peens is almost, I say almost, as good as touching just ONE peen.

    You’re so hot.

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