No F’ing Way Friday (03/20/09)

20 Mar

I won’t even try to deny that this man is a marketing genius and has, quite possibly, one of the best television programs in the history of the world.

Nor will I deny that I will immediately drop everything on this planet (including a fistful of peen…if I happened to have some) to catch the latest shenanigans that will inevitably ensue on said show.  There are strippers, there are pornstars, there are alcoholics, and there are Penthouse Pets to mock.

He’s hilarious.  Laugh out loud funny-and I’m not just referring to his manliner and terrible weave/extensions or his desperate attempts to grab onto his fleeting youth and delusional beliefs that he’s still a popular rockstar.

And he is so disgusting at the very same time.

Oh, Brett Michaels, you are such a tool.  A dirty, disgusting, short tool that has the absolute worst taste in women.


Just looking at his picture makes Vageena Davis burn and itch and breakout into weeping sores.

No, you cannot “talk dirty to me” even though that song was kick ass (when I was in 8th grade).  And even though you have vowed that Rock of Love has entered it’s last season, we both know that you’ll be back next year.  And I can’t wait to see what train wrecks end up trying to woo you with their smarts (and by “smarts” I mean “terrible implants”).


16 Responses to “No F’ing Way Friday (03/20/09)”

  1. Philly March 20, 2009 at 1:41 pm #

    Yeah, he is disgusting with or without the bandanna. Although I must say I’m loving him in that shirt. Nice arms

    Bad, Philly! No!! Nothing about him is attractive. -CS

  2. Liz March 20, 2009 at 2:07 pm #

    I thought he was disgusting before. Now you pull this picture with the goatee and I want to throw up. Thank you.

    I hope you didn’t just eat. -CS

  3. theblacktulip March 20, 2009 at 2:36 pm #

    I wish I could get my eyeliner to look that good.

    You and me both. Maybe we can meet up with him at the nearest Mac counter and he can give us a lesson. -CS

  4. darkfairymomma March 20, 2009 at 2:54 pm #

    He kinda looks like a male version of Heather or Farrah in that picture.

    I think that’s why he liked Heather to begin with. It was like doing himself…only she had a vag. -CS

  5. The Other Red March 20, 2009 at 3:15 pm #

    I had a poster of him over my bed when I was in Jr. High. Oh how far the mighty have fallen.

    You were young and didn’t know better. At least you don’t have a poster of him over your bed now. -CS

  6. Grant Miller, Esq. March 20, 2009 at 3:17 pm #

    You must not be serious!!!???

    I know how much you love him, Grant Miller, but I couldn’t help myself. -CS

  7. The Keeper March 20, 2009 at 3:23 pm #

    Didn’t he get fat???
    I bet he got a belly belt!!!!

    He’s not fat, just really gross. Vince Neil (from Motley Crue) got fat. -CS

  8. cinnamon & honey March 20, 2009 at 3:49 pm #

    I’d pay good money for someone to tear off that freakin’ bandana and expose him for the bald, bloating walking peen wart that he truly is.

    I’d totally love to see that on national television. -CS

  9. Senorita March 21, 2009 at 12:21 am #


    I just just wrote an entry on my blog about this two days ago.

    So funny, and you’re so right.

    That is too funny! And I see that you watch Tough Love too!! EXCELLENT show! -CS

  10. Lady Jane March 21, 2009 at 12:20 pm #

    Every season – I think to myself the girls have got to get better…but they don’t! I can’t believe the tastes he has in women – they are soooo skanky and look like they have been around the block a couple (hundred) times! Ewwww

    I think they just get worse and worse. I can only imagine what the hell they’ll look like next time around.

    He has zero chemistry with the last 3 girls. He’ll nail Mindy (again), probably choose her, and then dump her in 3 months. -CS

  11. maria March 21, 2009 at 1:08 pm #

    Brett is hot!! Omg I loved him in high school n I stil think he’s got it going on!! Yes the girls on Rock of Love leave much to be desired, at some point my beloved aging rock star Brett will have to stop trying to”date ” the 20 something strippers. If he wants love he sure aint going find it there.

    How can you say he is hot? Ugh, I just threw up a little. -CS

  12. WendyB March 23, 2009 at 10:12 am #

    “Manliner” — love it.

    I can’t believe that you’ve never heard that term before! -CS

  13. Amber D. March 23, 2009 at 1:05 pm #

    I’m gonna agree with you, and add that the super plump lips that he insists on pursing all the time do not add at all to his sex appeal… I’d be quite willing to bet that he got collagen injections.

    I wish my lips were as pouty as his are. -CS

  14. Bob Dobalina March 23, 2009 at 3:55 pm #

    I love that the only one he seemed to connect to was that psycho slut Ashley. Too bad only her real bf could ‘pull that p***y’.

    Wait, I didn’t just admit to watching this trainwreck. GB just.. talks.. a lot.. about it. Or something. Oh god.

  15. DUDACKATTACK!!! March 24, 2009 at 11:50 am #

    There’s no other explanation for the Schlock-of-love other than a Faustian bargain. There’s simply no way failiure is rewarded that long. First by inflicting Poison upon the airwaves, now its his Who Want’s to Be Caligula’s Trailer Park Bride reality show. He’s like one of the cousins of The Four Horsemen that you dont talk about.
    “Hey Pestilence, that your cousin Brett?”
    “Dude shhh! Don’t let him ride with us!”

    I hope even the devil will get tired of Brett’s act and accelerate the contract, where he will then relegate Brett to singing Helen Reddy covers while being suspended by his hair extensions over a pit of burning pitch, with eHarmony’s least wanted as his audience.

  16. Cosmo March 25, 2009 at 1:29 pm #

    Rock of Love is like crack (or Nachos). You know crack (or yummy cheesy nachos) isn’t good for you, but you can’t help but have/watch more.

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