Archive | 7:26 pm

I Know I’ve Had Too Much To Drink When…

10 Mar

I wind up topless in the backseat of a yellow(ish) Mustang with a tool that is far too young for me.

And no, I did not end up topless in the backseat of anyone’s muscle car this weekend.  Nor did I come into contact with any random peens.  I’m merely sharing that this is one of the many things that you may find me doing when I get all boozy Suzy. 

What about you?  When do you know you’ve spent too much quality time with sweet lady booze?

Just the Tip Tuesday (03/10/09)

10 Mar

It’s a very special and magical day in the world, today is Muffy’s birthday. In her honor, I’d like to dedicate this week’s JTT to her.

As such, it’s only right to pick someone I know she’d like to climb all over. Girlfriend, consider Vince Vaughn my gift to you.

vince-vaughn

I heart him. I really do. I don’t care that he’s kind of let himself go over the last few years, or that he plays the same character in every single movie that he’s in. He’s hilarious, and he’s a tall drink of water. Plus have you taken a good long look at his hands? That boy has got to be packing some heat!!

Yeah, and you can go ahead and thank him for the whole “just the tip” thing anyway. For it is he that spouted that clever and hilarious monologue in “Wedding Crashers:”

Janice, I apologize to you if I don’t seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don’t like the feeling. You’re sitting there, you’re wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I’m not really interested, should I play like I’m interested but I’m not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she’s not interested? So all of the sudden I’m getting, I’m starting to get interested… And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it’s awkward, it’s like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you’re trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don’t kiss them at all? It’s very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you’re just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called “just the tip”. Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you’re on my hair.

Happy Birthday, Muffy! Please to enjoy unwrapping his package.