Archive | 9:56 pm

You’re Invited

4 Mar

No, Pistols, this is not an invitation to you to whip it out and place it on my thigh.  I’m not falling for that trick again.  Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, I’ll hurl myself out of a window or the nearest flight of steps.

This Sunday, I shall be reborn.  Not into religion.  No, no.  On Sunday, I shall become a born again virgin.  That’s right, people, this weekend marks the 6 month mark since I have seen peen.  I see how you peole check the peen counter.  Trust me, there is no one that wants to reset that counter more than I do. 

In honor of my upcoming re-virginitization (I made up a word), I’m throwing myself a little pity party.  There will be booze, there will be tears (most likely mine), there will be feelings that I shall be eating, and there will be me trying to throw myself at anyone and everyone of the male persuasion in hopes of reintroducing peen to Vageena Davis before the stroke of midnight on Saturday (going into Sunday).

Men of the greater Baltimore area (except for you, Pistols), let this serve as your official warning.

Tiny Update

4 Mar

Wanna know how I’ve spent my day so far? 

Check this out…

Oh, and I still haven’t had any coffee, I’m still in my pajamas, the heat isn’t fixed, and I’m currently watching “Cold Case Files” on A&E.

Protected: The Fine Art of Working From Home

4 Mar

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