The Many Adventures of Claude: Bathroom Shenanigans

2 Mar

For most of us, the bathrooms at work are for…well, going to the bathroom!  But not for my good friend, Claude.  As established in a previous post, Claude is one of my whore friends.

Before I get into the story of how I know this, let me give you all a bit of advice: go out there and get yourself a gay friend if you don’t have one.  Everyone should have one-they’re like the perfect accessory, they go with anything and are perfect for any occasion.

On to this week’s story about Claude:

Okay, so getting back to the bathroom at work.  I’ve been working in the same place for over 11 years.  Not once in those many (emotionally draining) years has it ever occurred to me to use the bathroom as a meet-up point for a little hook up.  Sure, I’ve made out in the elevator, and the parking garage, and the 3rd floor copy room, and I even served up a Bartles & Jaymes in my cubicle after hours, but never in the rest room.

Last week Claude and I were emailing during work hours, as we typically do.  During our email exchange, he informed me that he was going to “meat up” with someone in the men’s room.  He had met this guy awhile back and they had been trying to schedule a “meat up”.  They had run into each other the night before, but Mary Meat Up was too busy playing games to seal the deal, so they rescheduled.

Off Claude went to the men’s room to meat up with this fine Mary.  He came back a little while later, only to inform me that they had had a very thrilling “dialogue” with Claude making his point several times.  Here’s my favorite part directly from Claude’s email:

I did him dirty in the last stall. He brought lube and poppers.

Here’s my question: as a gay man, do you always have to carry around lube and poppers kind of like we gals always have tampons and lipstick?

Tune in next time when we’ll discuss the joys and “pleasures” of air travel with Claude!


17 Responses to “The Many Adventures of Claude: Bathroom Shenanigans”

  1. Mary Diva/Tina Marie March 2, 2009 at 4:50 pm #

    Claude is a filthy whore and I love her for it!

    • Catherinette March 3, 2009 at 10:32 am #

      How could you not love her for her whoring? -CS

  2. Jenna March 2, 2009 at 9:42 pm #

    God, I wish I had the cojones to shag somebody at work. I wish there was someone at work worth shagging. That would be a fun story to be able to tell.

    • Catherinette March 3, 2009 at 10:32 am #

      You and me both, sister. -CS

  3. Dani March 2, 2009 at 10:54 pm #

    Where the hell do you work? I cannot imagine anyone having sex at our work in a stall, and really anyone doing it dirty. Well, at least at my current job.

    • Catherinette March 3, 2009 at 10:32 am #

      I’m sure if I tried it, I’d be fired. Trust me on this one.

      Claude and I don’t work together, anymore. -CS

  4. douchegirl March 3, 2009 at 1:28 am #

    Oh how I love this series! Much like I love the gays. Seriously, I never believed women who said “Having a gay best friend is the best thing in the world!”. I’m a believer now.

    I work with 2 gay guys. Sometimes they randomly make out and grope each other at work. It’s quite endearing.

    • Catherinette March 3, 2009 at 10:33 am #

      Please to enjoy the series because I have plenty more stories… -CS

  5. theblacktulip March 3, 2009 at 3:17 am #

    poppers? cause sex in the last stall of the men’s room isn’t exciting enough on it’s own…oh my!

    • Catherinette March 3, 2009 at 6:55 pm #

      Sometimes you need a little extra something to make that bathroom sex kinky. -CS

  6. Squirrel Queen March 3, 2009 at 10:27 am #

    Did Idaho Senator Larry Craig stop by your office or does he only toe tap in airport bathrooms?

    • Catherinette March 3, 2009 at 6:56 pm #

      Claude, what’s your take on Larry Craig? -CS

  7. Heather March 3, 2009 at 4:30 pm #

    WTF is a popper?!

    • Catherinette March 3, 2009 at 6:56 pm #

      Claude will be here to provide you with a full report.

      Be ready to learn new things… -CS

  8. Claude March 3, 2009 at 4:48 pm #

    These aren’t your momma’s jalapeño poppers!

  9. Chef Green March 10, 2009 at 11:27 am #

    OKAY I’ve read enough of your fool-ass words. I must meet Claude!

    And no, dear, my “mary essentials bag” extends beyond lube and the dreaded poppers (hello headache?) to include emergency hair glosser, a throw-out toothbrush, and a first-aid kit. You just never know what you might need to pull out of your Louis man-bag to recover from a quickie.

    I think Claude and I could refine the practice of whoredom together.

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