Does Getting Motorboated in the Men’s Room Count as a Hook-up?

5 Feb

Grabbed your attention with that title, didn’t I?

Several years ago, I attended a friend’s wedding with Claude as my date.  After acting like fools in church, and taking advantage of the open bar at the reception, we all went to a local bar.  Shenanigans ensued. 

We had a girlfriend studying abroad during that time, and this was the email that I sent her summarizing the events at the wedding. 

  1. Claude and I were naughty in church and were laughing at hymn called “Lord, You Probed Me” while everyone was singing something else.
  2. I let CJ feel my boobs in the stall of the MEN’S ROOM at the bar (while his girlfriend was in the back room).
  3. J Ho drove me home, we hooked up, and I played his bag pipe in the car.

So very uber klassy.  I had forgotten about this whole entire affair (so to speak).

How’d we end up in the men’s room?

Like on most occasions with that specific group of friends, the subject turned to boobs.  CJ (short for Circle Jerk*) had managed to hook up with half of my friends.  He’s one of those guys that says he has no game…which is actually his game.  There we were sitting at the table while his girlfriend was at the bar ordering a drink.  Blah, blah, snore long story.  He asked if he could feel my boobs, I said yes, but he said he wanted them bare.  I said he could, he didn’t believe, I told him to lead the way, and we ended up in a stall in the men’s room with my strapless dress pulled down to my waist and his head buried in my chest.

Oh, but it gets better than that.

Claude was my ride for the evening and he had to go.  Not wanting to miss the fun, I wanted to stay.  CJ’s roommate offered to give me a ride home.  Let me tell you a little bit about his roommate, JHo.  He was a tall drink of water, and there were several of us that had always wanted to get on him.   He was 6’5″, lean, and charming as charming could be.  That boy could melt butter with his smile.  And he was a boy as he was 5 years younger than I.

Whatever, I thought nothing of it.  I just figured he was being nice and I would tell the free world that I got to flirt with him.  Was I in for a surprise.  Quite a BIG surprise.

We were halfway back to my house when his hand wound up on my thigh.  “SAH-WEET!” I thought to myself, “I know what this means”.  10 minutes later we were on the side street leading to my condo and were making out in the car.  Once again, the top of my dress wound up down around my waist.  While he was paying attention to my high beams, I noticed another set of high beams-in the rear view mirror.  A car had pulled up behind us and was trying to get around…guess they weren’t interested in the free show we were giving.  I adjusted my dress and was ready to say goodbye.

He wanted to go into my condo but I refused to let him in (no pun intended).  It wasn’t that I didn’t want to climb up on him, but my condo was an absolute disaster.  The solution?  We ended up parking behind the garage in the alley. 

Nothing like a bj in a freaking alley to show how classy and sophisticated a girl can be.

I’m so proud of myself.



*A girlfriend of mine who dated him shortly gave him that name.  One day, while he was exhibiting that he had no game, they were hanging out in the bar parking lot together during happy hour.  She was sure that this was going to be the moment of their big first kiss.  Instead, he proceeded to literally walk circles around her.  He didn’t make his move until 3 weeks later.  Hence the name “Circle Jerk”.   Silky smooth move.

13 Responses to “Does Getting Motorboated in the Men’s Room Count as a Hook-up?”

  1. Teri February 5, 2009 at 1:56 pm #

    U R 1 klassy broad!

    you are my idol!

    I heart being a reformed whore. -CS

  2. SouthernBelle February 5, 2009 at 2:04 pm #

    Classy schmassy, it sounds like you had a hell of a good time and that’s the important thing!

    It truly was magical. -CS

  3. Del-V February 5, 2009 at 2:31 pm #

    If I had only know you were that easy…

    It’s not like I announce it when I see people. -CS

  4. davidisherenow February 5, 2009 at 2:44 pm #

    As much fun as boobage play is, my vote is no since (it appears) no one had a happy ending in the motorboating event.

    But a big ole fun slutty weekend for sure.


    I miss those days… -CS

  5. jon February 5, 2009 at 4:37 pm #

    I don’t know if this counts for anything either, but I (heart) your stories, especially the ones with happy endings.

    I’m glad you enjoy them. 🙂 -CS

  6. allegedringleader February 5, 2009 at 5:11 pm #

    I love this story! Totally klassy and I love it!
    Don’t you hate it when you don’t expect to bring someone home and your place is a mess?

    The odds of tapping it greatly increase if your house is a disaster. -CS

  7. Amadeo February 5, 2009 at 8:26 pm #

    You should be a mentor.

    I should be! -CS

  8. Maggie Garcia February 5, 2009 at 11:16 pm #

    Gurl, don’t you let society bring you down. I made The Butler go to a fucking abandoned soccer field to make out on Saturday. What am I? 18. Oh, wait, close.

    I want to go make out in a soccer field. -CS

  9. schmutzie February 6, 2009 at 1:18 am #

    You are being featured on Five Star Friday!

  10. Foxy Luv February 6, 2009 at 8:50 am #

    I don’t think the motorboating counts as a hook up. I think it isn’t truly a hook up until the Peen or the Vagina Davis make an apperance. The BJ in the alley next to the dumpster – now that’s a hook up. And a super sophisticated one too, I might add. Well done! (TWSS)

    But after reading this story, I do think you are in the wrong line of work. Rather than a humor blog, you should be writing books about gracious living and ettiquette. That’s where I think you will really shine.

    My mom would be so proud. -CS

  11. Jormengrund February 6, 2009 at 10:22 am #


    This just goes to show you that you can take the girl out of the trailer park, and put her in a nice condo, but you really can’t get the trailer park out of the girl..

    Now all you really need is to put your next car up on cinderblocks, and you’ll be all set for your next romantic hook-up!

    F the car on the cinder blocks, this girl has been motorboated in a Mustang! -CS

  12. evenrant February 6, 2009 at 10:58 am #

    The single life – sometimes I miss it.

    Honey that was so long ago that even I miss it, and I’m still single. -CS

  13. pistols at dawn February 6, 2009 at 12:09 pm #

    Multiple motorboatings in an evening? You’re like the girls I usually have to rent videos to see!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: