Let’s talk about our feelings until you feel like strangling me, and then let’s talk about how you feel about strangling me

27 Jan

Let’s play a little guessing game, shall we?  And no, I’m not referring to everyone’s favorite party game “Who’s in my mouth?”  Here’s how we’re going to roll, I’m going to go ahead and pose a question, and you’re going to put your guess in the comments. 

For example:

If I ask, “Where might you find Foxy Luv on a typical Friday night?” you might answer “on her knees in stall #3 at the bus station”.  Or perhaps you’d just write “with a peen in her mouth.”  There would be bonus points for any fine readers who actually included a mention of her sore covered mouth.

Ready?  Here we go…

Guess who climbed off his crazy high horse and decided to IM me to talk about feelings?

I’ll give you a hint: several months ago he told me that I was one of the unhealthiest people he had ever met.  Emotionally and physically. 

Oh, and that was about 3 weeks after we hooked up and he ruined his romancing of Vageena Davis by whispering the words, “I love you,” just before he lowered his head to…present an oral argument during a critcal politcal intercoursediscourse.  Poor Vageena Davis was so distracted that she required an extra 20 minutes of lecture than she usually does.  We still have nightmares about the whole thing.

17 Responses to “Let’s talk about our feelings until you feel like strangling me, and then let’s talk about how you feel about strangling me”

  1. Belle January 27, 2009 at 8:55 pm #

    oh! me me me! pick me!!
    *holds one frantically waving arm up with the other one*


    Ding, ding, ding!! We have a winner! -CS

  2. Chad January 27, 2009 at 9:51 pm #

    I’ve had to much to drink, so I am going to say… Up to my nuts in lady guts! Did I get it, am I right?

    I’d be pretty impressed if you could get your nuts to IM me. -CS

  3. conchette January 27, 2009 at 10:03 pm #

    Why, oh why is he still IMing you?????????

    Because he’s so in love with me and he’ll never be able to move on. Not ever.

    Plus he is a special brand of crazy. -CS

  4. cinnkitty January 27, 2009 at 10:05 pm #

    Jesus woman.. there’s this thing called “block” you should look into it. 😛

    But if I did that, how could I play pointless mind games with him? -CS

  5. pistols at dawn January 27, 2009 at 11:21 pm #

    It was me, wasn’t it? God, I love talking about my feelings.

    What feelings? -CS

  6. caribbeanlurker January 28, 2009 at 1:53 am #

    Damn if I hadn’t found out about his smoking hot body I’d lecturing you about IMing him… but hey now that the two of you are back in touch could you get us some juicy pictures?
    you can give me your IM and I’d do the whole “talk about feelings” even in spanish, french or whatev you want 😉

    That would be super nice of you. I’d get his hot body and peen, and you’d have to deal with the after math. God help you. -CS

  7. Philly January 28, 2009 at 6:03 am #

    can I see his body again?


    I’ll totally send you a naked pic… -CS

  8. Wynn January 28, 2009 at 8:30 am #

    Omgosh, he told you he loved you? You don’t tell people you love them in bed! Nev-ar. Except for being in a relationship and you want that cheesy romantic dramamovie kind of sex. Gosh.

    He’s an f’ing girl. I swear. -CS

  9. Liz3.57 January 28, 2009 at 10:11 am #

    I second the picture talk.

    His body was pretty hot. -CS

  10. Red January 28, 2009 at 10:27 am #

    It’s damned inconvenient, but I don’t think he’s done being upset with you yet. As the one who broke it off, it’s your job to just ignore him. Also to never initiate contact, but I think we all know that wasn’t about to happen.

    Here’s what would cause me to initiate contact: nothing. -CS

  11. Jormengrund January 28, 2009 at 11:30 am #

    CS, you really need to take some lessons.

    I mean, hanging around Foxy has left you as a morally loose woman, and you have NO self-respect left!

    So you haven’t had peen in a dog’s age!

    So you still need to get the shop-vac out to clean the dust off of Vageena..

    Don’t sell yourself short, and start something that you just KNOW is going to end badly.

    Well, unless you’re really wanting some good juicy stuff to blog about, that is!

    Just imagine the juicy blog fodder that could come from this… -CS

  12. Amadeo January 28, 2009 at 12:42 pm #

    You should send a picture of you laughing…or you and a room full a friends laughing.

    I totally would, but I’m too busy not caring about him to bother. -CS

  13. jon January 28, 2009 at 12:53 pm #

    -CS, I can’t add any more to what my fellow wise and trustworthy commentors have posted on this topic…..but WTF is it about us guys, that makes us send drunkTEXTS to former flames to talk about our “feeling” after we see their nude silhouette on a polished chrome truck mudflap???

    Hey, wait a second. Why don’t any companies ever want my nude silhouettes on their mud flaps? That makes me feel so sad. -CS

  14. evenrant January 28, 2009 at 1:36 pm #

    Clearly he is simply concerned about his “This is how long it’s been since I had Vageena David near my goods” clock!

    His clock is never going to reset because he is never going near my Vageena Davis every again. Not ever! -CS

  15. k January 28, 2009 at 4:34 pm #

    that was a pretty rough quiz

    i say you give him an unhealthy punch in the face…d-bag

    I’ve been sending him bad vibes all day long. -CS

  16. kristina January 28, 2009 at 6:03 pm #

    Make that a cock-punch, and perhaps he will lose his feelings…

    I doubt it. There’s nothing on this earth that would take away his feelings. -CS

  17. Jane Wonder January 29, 2009 at 5:20 pm #

    I blame the Superbowl.

    You could be onto something here. -CS

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