Way TMI

22 Jan

I can’t believe that this is the post that will follow that touching one about my sister’s dog. I just did something so ridiculously stupid and gross.

I just peed in my pants…more like panties.

Those of you that are loyal readers know of my disdain for underwear. This morning I decided to wear some (no, I’m not on the rag). Got home, put on my pjs, went to sleep and forgot that I had them on.

This morning when I woke up I had to pee. There I was sitting on the toilet, in mid stream, wondering why something felt strange.  So there I was thinking to myself, “What is that?  Did I forget to take out my last tampon 2 weeks ago?  That is so strange.”  That’s when I realized that I had forgotten to drop the panties.

Then I was stuck sitting there wondering how I was going to get up and take those things off of me without dripping all over the place.  5 minutes I sat there while all options are explored.  Do I suck it up and just get pee everywhere?  Can I be really acrobatic and pull them off without touching the pee?  Perhaps I will just take scissors to the sides and then chuck them?

In the end I opted for the scissors.  Peace out, thong.  It was nice knowing you.

I am nothing if not klassy.

 

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21 Responses to “Way TMI”

  1. Liz3.57 January 22, 2009 at 7:46 am #

    Wow. There are no words.

    However, I am thinking that given your huge internet popularity, you could put though suckers on Ebay, and someone would buy them.

    I can’t imagine who on God’s green earth would want them. Aside from Pistols. -CS

  2. Del-V January 22, 2009 at 8:25 am #

    Did you flush them? Please say you did.

    I didn’t flush them! You’re not supposed to throw stuff like that in the toilet. -CS

  3. Philly January 22, 2009 at 9:17 am #

    Eww, ewww ewwww

    #1

    I know. I’m so ashamed. -CS

  4. ExPrincess January 22, 2009 at 9:28 am #

    You had scissors handy in the bathroom?

    Doesn’t everyone? I might have to cut tags off new clothes, or cut my bangs. -CS

  5. Jormengrund January 22, 2009 at 10:04 am #

    I have just one thing to say:

    BWAAAAHAHAHAHA!

    Doesn’t it suck to not quite wake up in the mornings?

    Tell me about it. I never realized I was THAT out of it in the mornings. -CS

  6. Teri January 22, 2009 at 10:25 am #

    I’m actually amazed that you confessed to this out loud.

    You’re a special kind of person!

    It was too good of a story not to share. -CS

  7. Melrox January 22, 2009 at 11:06 am #

    Oh my. You really are loud and proud aren’t you?

    Thanks for the laugh.

    I hate going to the bathroom with my friends, but I’m delighted to pee in my own pants. I have problems. -CS

  8. MsDarkstar January 22, 2009 at 11:21 am #

    I’ll bet you COULD sell them on Ebay, if not for Ebay’s policy in re: “used” panties. (Let’s not ask how I know about that, k?)

    But of all the options, that probably made the most sense. Bet it will be a while before you decide panties are a must, eh?

    You got that right. F panties. -CS

  9. Bella@That damn expat January 22, 2009 at 11:27 am #

    Ahahaha that was the funniest thing I read today. Thanks for the laugh.

    I’m happy that my mortification brought a smile to your face. -CS

  10. Cinnkitty January 22, 2009 at 11:55 am #

    *snort* You should talk to MisstressM.. ha..ha.ha.. I do believe you just found something in common. bwa..ha.ha….

    We should totally start a club. -CS

  11. jon January 22, 2009 at 12:00 pm #

    BWAAAAHAHAHAHA! Pee Happens!

    I was taught from an early age to believe there to be no greater shame than profiting from the misfortunes of others. But that all changed today after I read this post.

    I should have made people pay for this post and then I could have made something like 10 cents. -CS

  12. ilana January 22, 2009 at 12:38 pm #

    I am also wondering why you had scissors in the bathroom. I probably would have opted for some contorted attempt to pull them off without touching pee/dripping it all over the floor and would have ended up with my butt stuck in the toilet. Good job getting out unscathed! (Except mentally, maybe.) Your klassiness is inspiring.

    I’ll have flashbacks for years to come. Seriously, I think my next 6 therapy sessions will be devoted to this incident.

    Why is it so strange to have scissors in the bathroom? -CS

  13. kristina January 22, 2009 at 12:49 pm #

    Apparently your mom isn’t the only one who rides the short bus…

    No kidding. -CS

  14. cinnamon & honey January 22, 2009 at 1:27 pm #

    I just have one thing to say: Good thing it wasn’t poop.

    Thank god! -CS

  15. allegedringleader January 22, 2009 at 3:10 pm #

    ahahahahaha I can totally imagine that lol

    I’m smooth like sandpaper. -CS

  16. LOBO January 22, 2009 at 3:36 pm #

    I was at a packed bar once and needed to go. And flipping it out on “autopilot,” I failed to realize that it wasn’t fully -*ahem*- flipped out until it was too late.

    All my friends knew was that I was peeling out of the parking lot about four seconds later with no explaination …

    At least I was alone in the privacy of my own home. -CS

  17. The Ambiguous Blob January 22, 2009 at 7:12 pm #

    Yep, Way TMI

    Admit you were totally thrilled. -CS

  18. foxyluv January 22, 2009 at 7:21 pm #

    SO pretty!

    Admit that you aspire to be just like me. -CS

  19. foxyluv January 22, 2009 at 7:22 pm #

    ANd also – did you save them for Pistols – I am sure he would want them…

    Of course he would. It would be like Christmas had come early. -CS

  20. WendyB January 22, 2009 at 9:49 pm #

    I’m definitely sniping these off eBay.

    Bids are already at $575! Who knew?? -CS

  21. pistols at dawn January 23, 2009 at 10:07 am #

    I did search for them on ebay, but I gave up and just dug through your garbage in the middle of the night instead. I was the one outside saying, “Raccoon noises. Nothing to see out here. More raccoon noises.”

    I slept right through that. I’m so used to you knocking over the garbage cans now that I don’t even hear it. -CS

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