Hookers on Parade

7 Jan

The first weekend of the New Year is officially over.  By now you’ve all seen the after effects of my evening out on the town on Friday.  I also happened to mention that I was having a very special lunch.  You know what?  I would go so far as to call it magical, that’s right, it was magical.  And my day didn’t end there – after lunch I met up with some of my gays in Dupont.

You’ll never guess who came to town on Saturday, unless you happen to read her blog.  It just so happens that Cinnkitty decided to take her hooker show on the road and head up to DC for a few days.  Yes, it’s true, we happened to activate our wonder hooker powers and please the people at a local bar in DC.  What’s even better is that Detail Medic was there as well.  Sadly, Detail Medic did not appear in her fire fighter uniform as I had hoped.  And yes, I totally accept the blame for suggesting a place that didn’t open until 4:00, which makes it difficult to have lunch there at 1:00.

While we were unable to experience the joys of my original suggested location, we were able to make fun of the locals.  We encountered someone that decided to dress up in costume.  Of course, being the bitches that we are we got her picture.  Detail Medic and I pretended to pose for a pic just so she could shoot the freaky chick behind us.


Um…apparently she didn’t get the memo that it’s no longer 1973 and it’s wicked uncool to slaughter baby polar bears to make boots.  It’s too bad that Damien wasn’t there.  My sister has taught him to call people “dirty hippies”.  We could have encouraged him to go up to this “lady” in her dead bear boots and yell, “Dirty hippie!  Dirty hippie!” at her.  Guess kids can be kind of handy every once in awhile.

But you don’t care about the freaky hippie chick.   What you want to know is what happened during lunch.  Frankly, it was just what you would expect it to be: there was pole dancing, swearing, merry making, mocking and talking about peen.  We even talked about how one might end up sending dirty picture messages to a parent/sibling instead of to the intended recipient.   It was a truly magical experience.

As for the story with Claude and Mary Cocoa Butter, that’s another story for another day.

15 Responses to “Hookers on Parade”

  1. kristina January 7, 2009 at 12:55 pm #

    What do you mean? This chick looks so fetch! I think she stole my favourite outfit! OMG… kill me now…

    Seriously, how does one arrange to have lunch with you? Keep in mind I’m in Canada, on the other side of the continent…

    It’s really quite an ensemble. I’m thinking of submitting it to Glamour as one of their “don’ts”.

    Having lunch with me is easy. You either come here and we dine together, or buy me a plane ticket and we dine there. It’s totally your choice… -CS

  2. WendyB January 7, 2009 at 1:00 pm #

    Hey, why is that woman wearing one of Ice-T’s pimp outfits?

    I wonder if she was with Cocoa!! -CS

  3. Del-V January 7, 2009 at 1:36 pm #

    They look like Yeti legs.

    Maybe she forgot to shave her legs. -CS

  4. Cinnkitty January 7, 2009 at 2:14 pm #

    Oh god… we missed the photo op!! When she took her coat off, it became highly apparent that her jeans were at least 3 sizes TOO SMALL and her shirt was made for a toddler. Because YOU had your back to her, you weren’t scarred for life, but **I* had to be the witness to 80 year old woman flab extruded from betwixt the two like she was a fucking Play-Doh Play factory.

    My Eyes!! MY FUCKING EYES!!!! ha..ha.ha….

    Damn it! Why was I not informed that the coat had come off and she was exposing her muffin top to the free world?? -CS

  5. Just Sayin'... January 7, 2009 at 2:22 pm #

    She looks like she needs a friend. You should’ve invited her to join you for lunch… Then you could make fun of her behind her back and still have weeks and weeks of blog material as you post pictures of all of her dirty hippie gear on the sly!

    There’s no way that I’m going to eat lunch with someone that sacrifices baby polar bears for fashion. -CS

  6. Philly January 7, 2009 at 2:38 pm #

    She also need her nails freshened up a bit


    That’s probably the least of her worries. -CS

  7. jon January 7, 2009 at 3:51 pm #

    I bet she scores a ton of Sherpa peen with that matching hairy boots and collar look.

    Damn-it Mom? Where you just in DC to service a National Pleather Convention?

    Aw, sweet pleather… -CS

  8. sista #2 January 7, 2009 at 4:07 pm #

    Was that a gold hat on her fucking head? I bet that fur was velcroed around the top of that fasionable coat.

    As for the boots……..looks like the fur from penny the pom. I wondered where that dog got to.


    Lord only knows where on earth this woman picked up her outfit. I swear to god it’s like she time traveled straight out of the 1970’s – or the nearest Woolworth’s. -CS

  9. DrZibbs January 7, 2009 at 5:57 pm #

    The shoes match the hair.

    I never noticed that, but you are totally right! -CS

  10. caribbeanlurker January 7, 2009 at 6:43 pm #

    She looks so trendy and warm on those botitas de peluche!!!

    BWAHAHAHA!! That’s f’ing hilarious. Even better is that most of the people that read this have no idea what “botitas de peluche” means, but I do! So funny! -CS

  11. Queen Goob January 7, 2009 at 7:58 pm #


    I love posing for picture to get that perfect “background shot”.

    I noticed she was alone, how odd…….

    So do I! Lola, Muffy and I did that when we were in NYC last year. We were trying to get a picture of this woman that had a giant rat’s nest in her head. Sadly, the pic didn’t come out.

    And she wasn’t alone, she had some young thing with her. -CS

  12. Cinnkitty January 8, 2009 at 8:27 am #

    Actually Queen Goob — she had a date with her! That or he was her son. But if he was her son, they were acting TOTALLY inappropriately… ewwwww……….

    I totally missed that too. THANK GOD! -CS

  13. Detail Medic January 8, 2009 at 9:52 am #

    I missed the muffin top as well… but I am SO not upset about that.

    If you had told me you wanted me to show up in uniform, I might have considered it…for about a micro-second! you’ll get to see me in full-on kilt drag soon enough my pretty!

    You realize I’m totally bringing my camera, right?? -CS

  14. The Alleged Ringleader January 8, 2009 at 3:09 pm #

    She is SERIOUSLY wearing THOSE BOOTS?!?!?!
    WHY oh WHY would ANYONE buy those?
    Girls out in LA rock the SAME ones but they are dyed HOT PINK!
    I want to strangle people sometimes…well, more often than not.

    Ugh! Do they do it on a dare, do you think? -CS

  15. Emily January 8, 2009 at 8:26 pm #

    Ha! You make be a bitch, but this is soooo something I would do! Love it! Glad I found your blog!

    Mama and Hustler???
    My Mommy Chronicles

    Glad you found it too! Am not checking out the links you sent my way. -CS

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