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My Dating Resolutions

1 Jan

If you’re like most people, you’re probably nursing a pretty bad case of the cocktail flu (hangover) this morning. Ahh, the sweet sweet joys of New Year’s Day. There we all were last night celebrating the coming new year, drinking cheap champagne, and making all those resolutions to make our lives better.

The New Year’s resolution: our chance to do something differently in hopes that life will be better in the new year. I find that the second I make one, I find myself breaking it on New Year’s Day. Let’s take that resolution to lose 20 pounds – that’s pretty much out the window when I inhale a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, 4 donuts, a 2 liter of Coke, and some leftover Christmas cookies on New Year’s Day. I usually don’t make resolutions, but I’ve decided to give them another go. This time, however, it’s going to be different. I can just feel it.

I’m not going to fool myself into believing that I’m actually going to lose 20 pounds, or go to the gym 5 days a week, or find a new job, or clean my bathroom every week, or go back to get my Master’s degree, or stop mocking people. Instead, I’m going to focus my resolutions on dating.

Those of you that are regular readers know that I have some pretty awful luck when it comes to dating. If I’m not busy making a bad decision that ends up with a make out session in a yellow Mustang, then it’s making a bad decision that ends up with me in tears and my now ex-boyfriend sending me a nasty email message on how he thinks I’m the unhealthiest person he’s ever met, emotionally and physically. I know, I know, I’ve picked some winners in the past. Well, that’s all about to change thanks to my 3 resolutions:

  1. Dating.Com: I don’t tend to meet a lot of men at work anymore, at least not since I vowed to stop dating coworkers. Most of my friends are married, and they never have any available hot single men to introduce me to. Instead, I find that I hang my hopes on some random encounter when I’m out on the weekends. I’ve had little luck with this. I’ve taken a stab at online dating, but haven’t really taken it seriously. It’s about time I caught up with the rest of the world. I’m signing up for a minimum of 6 months with one of the big online dating services. I’m going to write that kick ass profile (really I’m just going to dust it off because it’s already pretty kick ass), find those cute pics, and I’m going to date at least one person a month. If it doesn’t work out, at least you all will have a wonderful story to read.
  2. Snap Judgements: It’s probably a shocker to believe, but I’m quick to judge. I know within the first 5 seconds if I’m willing to give someone a shot. In some cases, I end up with losers (like the one that lied to me about being single, bedded me, and then sent me a Christmas card informing me that he had had a girlfriend when we were busy knocking boots). We can also assume that I’m probably letting some good ones slip through my fingers. As of today, I’m saying no to the 5 second rule. It no longer applies to men, only to food that’s fallen on the floor.
  3. Make Out Sessions in Cars: I’m voting no on this one. Thinking back over the last 2 years, I can’t think of a single make out session in a parked car that ended up with anything more than blog fodder. Sure, it makes for a good story, but I have to live with knowing that I made out in a bar parking lot with some tool that owns a muscle car. That’s just shameful!! From now on, unless we’re parked outside my house at the end of a promising date and he’s going to be coming in the house for some “coffee”, I’m not making out in cars anymore. Unless the guy is really hot and is gainfully employed.

What’s your New Year’s dating resolution?

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