Archive | 8:26 pm

It’s Hard to Dial the Phone When I’m Bleeding to Death

8 Dec

Day 1 of my home confinement is just about over.  I don’t usually mind staying home from work, but the 24/7 spins make enjoying the time close to impossible.  Sadly, the Vertigo still stands and I can still barely make it across the room without grabbing the wall, wanting to hurl, wobbling all over the room, and/or throwing a curse up to Mother Nature for making me feel this way.  The doctor is under the impression that I will be in this jacked up condition until at least Wednesday-this makes me ant to break things.  Sadly, I can’t seem to hit the appropriate target so the item that I pick up to toss at the window just slips out of my hand and falls onto the carpeted floor.  This just makes me want to throw up some more.

Meanwhile, my mother is so concerned that she thinks the best thing to do is to call me every 45 minutes.  She called me 12 times today.  Literally.  And every single god damned conversation was the same:

Mom: How are you feeling.
Me: Dizzy.
Mom: [shocked that my condition hasn’t changed in the last 45 minutes] Still??
Me: Yes, mom.  I’m still dizzy. 

The woman is a doctor, for God’s sake.  She should know better than to think that this is just going to go away from one phone call to the next.  Especially since she was initially the one that told me that it would take a few days.  Seriously, one more phone call, and I’m going to go off the deep end.

The best part was when she called me while I was on the phone with Foxy.  I didn’t pick up the line fast enough so she proceeded to leave me a panicked message. 

Catherinette??  Where are you?  Why aren’t you picking up the phone?  Oh God.  I think I’m going to leave work and check on you.  I’m afraid that you may have fallen down the stairs and cracked your head open on the tile floor.  Catherinette?  Call me when you get this.

Really?  Cracked my head on the tile floor?  If that was the case, then how was I supposed to call her when I got the message?  Wouldn’t I have been too busy bleeding to death at the bottom of the stairs to call her back? 

Ugh, all this typing makes me want to vomit.  But first, I have to pick up the phone.  Because my mom is calling.  Again.