Archive | 4:22 pm

For Foxy

25 Sep
Foxy's vag gives a whole new meaning to the term, "hotdog in a hallway."

Foxy's vag gives a whole new meaning to, "hotdog in a hallway."

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RUFKM Celebrity Interview #1: Catherinette Singleton

25 Sep

No pictures, please!!  No!  I don’t want to give you my autograph!  No, you can’t prove that I did it with Lindsey Lohan before Samantha Ramson got her grubby little hands on her “Mean Girls” junk. 

I’m such a celebrity.  At least to the guys over at RUFKM (that stands for Are You F’ing Kidding Me).  Kids, I’m so fetch it’s not even funny.

They were kind enough to allow me to post the interview here for you lovelies to enjoy.  Here you go…

NEWS FLASH! RUFKM is dedicated to provide breaking news and this story is fresh off the wire. Our “Week of War” will continue with part 2 of our Saga of Sludge tomorrow — or maybe it won’t since it’s Labor Day weekend. Deal with it.

Enjoy this spectacular intermission!

At RUFKM.NET we are committed to bringing you quality content daily. We even listen, occasionally to our own detriment, to your requests, demands, feeble pleas for help and frivolous suggestions. One request that we could not resist is the pent-up demand for riveting celebrity interviews of “hot” chicks and cafeteria workers.

As a result, starting today we will be adding a new feature entitled “RUFKM 10 Question Celebrity Interview” in which we provide you, the humble reader, with in-depth questions and answers from some of the most intriguing celebrities known to mankind.

Real Life. Unscripted. Unedited. And chock full of tomfoolery and shenanigans.

Our first installment, to no surprise, is with RUFKM’s #1 Fan and purported “hottie”, Ms. Catherinette Singleton-Boondoggle. Who graciously answered our request for an interview as a result of a slight impairment brought about by a nearly lethal combination of Mojito’s and prescription medications. Enjoy.

1. Who are you and why should anyone care?

I’m the coolest bachelorette in the world-who has a secret cyber crush on Captain Boondoggle. You care for two reasons. One, I’m funny. Two, I’ll let you motorboat me. Oh, and here’s your bonus: I’m typing these responses totally naked (long story, don’t ask).

2. Why do you refer to the business end of the male anatomy on your website as a “peen”?

I have to give props to Mr. Underhill (sadly, he password protected his blog so you’ll never know the origins of the term) for this one. He uses the term and I think it’s hilarious. I think we need to strike the word “penis” from the English language, and replace it with peen.

3. What first brought you to RUFKM.NET and why did you keep coming back?

Fate and more fate. I stumbled across the site on Humor Blogs, and then peed myself when I read one of the entries. Then, like crack, I couldn’t resist and had to keep coming back for more.

4. Thong, g-string, briefs or commando?

Commando, always. Panties are for sissies.

5. Who/What/Where do you hate the most?

I loathe Oprah with a fiery passion. It burns through me like a bad case of the Herp (at least that’s how I imagine the Herp would burn). Why, God, why do people care what she says and what she does? She’s a douche bag waste of space and I hate her. Down with Oprah!!

6. Other than New Kids on the Block, who is your favorite band/singer and why?

Wow, I can’t believe that you’re making me pick someone else other than NKOTB. No one really compares (thank goodness for that). I’m going to have to go with Frank Sinatra. How can you possibly love anything more than Frank? He had blue eyes and could make anyone swoon. Even years after he freaking died. I’d totally do him-or at least his remains if “It Happened In Monterrey” was playing in the background. OH!! Also, I’d jump on Michael Buble in a heartbeat. And the sex would probably be better as he’s alive and stuff.

7. Why is RUFKM.NET the greatest website every conceived by modern man?

Because my future ex-husband, Captain Boondoggle, writes the most riveting, and hilarious things there. Also, I pee myself when I read the posts. Oh, and it’s free and I don’t get the clap when I visit.

8. Name three good things about Baltimore.

1) I live there. 2) the good people at a local publication saw it fit to include me as one of their hottest singles for 2008, 3) did I mention I live there?

9. What is the strangest sexual deed you have ever willingly partaken in?

Let’s just say it involved a Percocet, props, and a My Little Pony.

10. Word Association. Please identify the first word that pops into your head when reading the following words:

Hairy = McBacksweat. An ex boyfriend who makes me throw up in my mouth when I think of him. Thanks for reminding me. No, really.
Monkeys = Hey, hey we’re the (I know you said one word nut I couldn’t resist)
Scientology = Lame
Puppies = Breakfast
Men = Lunch
Marriage = Scary
RUFKM = Panty melters
Motorboat = Yes, please
Slurpie = only cherry flavored
Boondoggle = Mr. Catherinette Singleton

 

There you have it; riveting, insightful and strangely yet disturbingly erotic.