Holy F’ing God

13 Sep

No, really.  I casually logged into facebook 2 seconds ago only to see a status update from Notebook:

Notebook handed his lady a diamond ring this morning. 🙂

Oh, and based on the comments on his status, looks like he’ll be in town in 2 weeks to celebrate with friends and family.  I’ll totally be the first one to be there and congratulate them.  And by that, I mean that I will stay at home and curse him and his pending nuptials. 

WHAT??  They hardly know each other!  They’ve only been dating for like 37 seconds.  What the freaking hell?  Okay, so maybe it’s been longer than that, but not by much.  I believe that they started dating about one minute after the last time he and I saw each other in November.  You remember that, right?  We ended up making out in my car.

You know what?  I’m that girl.  I can feel it!  I’m the one that they date/screw/whatever, and then 8 months later they’re freaking engaged to be freaking married.  Great.  Congratulations to me. 

I hope she twists her ankle walking down the god damned aisle.

Thank God I’m not the jealous type.

14 Responses to “Holy F’ing God”

  1. Jake September 13, 2008 at 3:16 pm #

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    SPAM! It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

    I originally deleted this, but since Pistols referred to it later, I brought it back to life. I can do that, you know. Reanimate things. I have a gift. -CS

  2. Foxy Luv September 13, 2008 at 3:48 pm #

    Oh no he didn’t!

    Oh man – he’s got dome deep seated issues – they really haven’t been together long at all!

    Know what I found out? They’ve been dating since last year…since BEFORE we made out in my car.

    Take that, future Mrs. Notebook. -CS

  3. pistols at dawn September 13, 2008 at 4:28 pm #

    I was going to say something witty, but I got completely distracted by Jake’s nonsensical comment. It’s the first time I’ve experienced dada in sentence form.

    Oh, I was going to say that I also just got engaged to be married, because it’s time to allow one girl and one girl only to have my special strain of the herp. You really are that girl – thanks for all the happiness you gave me 8 months later!

    It’s incredible how spammers will hook you these days. Perhaps Jake has missed his calling and should have published a book or 2.

    Where’s my ring? And I don’t mean cock ring. I fell for that once already. -CS

  4. pistols at dawn September 13, 2008 at 4:29 pm #

    That would be so much funnier if engaged me wasn’t as obviously fictional as say, Godzilla fighting King Kong on the moon.

    Actually, there might be a better chance of Godzilla and King Kong arranging that little fight of theirs. -CS

  5. Carmen September 13, 2008 at 5:48 pm #

    I am so that girl too… and it sucks ass… I feel your pain. Here is to a sprained ankle…

    F both of them in their stupid butt holes. -CS

  6. Annabel September 14, 2008 at 7:03 am #

    i, too, am that god-forsaken woman who is flavour of the minute… before i get screwed over for some other bitch who’s twice as ugly, and thrice as bitchy, for him to have a happy ending.

    thank god i’m not bitter 😛

    Who on earth would call you bitter? Not I, said the little red hen. -CS

  7. Babycakes September 14, 2008 at 9:43 am #

    it’s a funny thing isn’t it? Have heard of that happening lots of times.

    Oh, hardy har har. It’s hilarious. -CS

  8. Dr Zibbs September 14, 2008 at 10:07 am #


    Are you calling me immature? -CS

  9. Jon September 14, 2008 at 12:57 pm #

    Don’t take this the wrong way or anything, but I totally want to Facebook you. Aww yeah.

    Oh, honey. That was just what I needed! -CS

  10. theideaofprogress September 14, 2008 at 3:02 pm #

    Godzilla’s fighting King Kong on the moom?

    Catherinette, that means you and I must be wed.

    (oh, and I’m back)

    Thank freaking god you’re back!

    I’ve already sent out the wedding invites. 🙂 -CS

  11. sista #2 September 14, 2008 at 6:45 pm #

    Screw the sprained ankle….pray he gets LDS.

    Limp Dick Syndrome


    Know what? He suffers from this from time to time. I know this because Disney is very good friends with a girl he dated. 🙂 -CS

  12. Jenna September 15, 2008 at 9:15 am #

    There’s nothing at all wrong with wanting her destruction. I’m with you on that. Also laughing a lot at the little red hen reference.

    I love the little red hen reference. I also love the idea of the red hen pecking the future ex Mrs. Notebook. -CS

  13. Me September 15, 2008 at 1:09 pm #

    Every man I have ever dated got married to the girl he met right after me. I’m cursed.

    You and me both, sister. -CS

  14. Claire September 15, 2008 at 4:59 pm #

    Oh my gosh. I have that curse too!


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