Virtual Stalking Gone Wrong

5 Sep

Oh crap.  I just did something so remarkably stupid.  So freaking bad that it made me turn beet red in front of Lit’l Smokey.  Not only is it stupid on my part, but it may make him look like a dumb shit stalker too.  Crap. 


This morning Lit’l Smokey had heard that Baby Tramp had a new boyfriend.  Apparently, one of his friends is her facebook friend.  His friend told him that she had updated her status.  Being the good friend that I am, I offered to help him stalk her on facebook.  After all, that’s one of the best parts about facebook: it allows you to virtually stalk people.  I love virtual stalking.

I had him send me her email address so we could do a quick search, and then he came over to my desk.

No luck.  Couldn’t find anything under her name or her email address.

  • Lit’l Smokey: She has another email address.
  • Me: What is it?
  • Lit’l Smokey: It’s either or
  • Me: Let’s go ahead and try the first one and see if that works.  Nope.  Nothing.  How about the second one?

Just then, I hit the enter key.  Suddenly, the screen changes in front of our very eyes.

“Congratulations!  An email has been sent to inviting her to facebook.”

This is when I begin turning one million shades of red.

  • Lit’l Smokey: Does that mean what I think it means?
  • Me: Yup.
  • Lit’l Smokey: Oh, fuck. 
  • Me: Yup.
  • Lit’l Smokey: Oh God.  I think I might die.

15 Responses to “Virtual Stalking Gone Wrong”

  1. Red September 5, 2008 at 2:03 pm #

    From what you’ve told us, BT isn’t all that bright. Does she even know who you are? And she probably wouldnt connect you with Lit’l Smokey. Of course, if she just accepts every random friend request, could she find the blog?

    Yeah, she knows who I am. I said something to LS about how she’d probably just ignore it, but he said she definitely knew who I was.

    I’m praying that she does that.

    No, she can’t tie me back to the blog because I sent it from my other account, not the Catherinette Singleton account. -CS

  2. Cinnkitty September 5, 2008 at 2:04 pm #

    ha..ha.ha.. You have got to be the WORST virtual stalker I’ve ever known!

    You are even worse than our old buddy, Kelly Cavanaugh! ha.ha.ha….

    Sweet, now he’ll end up reading this comment because he’ll do a search for his name again. Tool. -CS

  3. pistols at dawn September 5, 2008 at 2:14 pm #

    Wow. When you’re done with that crucial job, can you help fix all that ruckus in the Middle East? I feel like it’s missing your smooth touch.

    I’m smooth. Like sand paper. -CS

  4. Del-v September 5, 2008 at 2:56 pm #

    You’ll never work at CTU making mistakes like that.

    My dreams have been blown!!

    That’s what she said. -CS

  5. Philly September 5, 2008 at 3:13 pm #

    Hi , my name is Philly and I too am a virtual stalker.


    Let’s totally start our own support group. Then we can stalk e/o to see how the other is progressing. -CS

  6. Teri September 5, 2008 at 4:08 pm #

    I’m a stalker, as well. You have to be so careful about that stuff. I hope you’re worrying for nothing and she won’t notice a thing.

    I’m hoping that she doesn’t freaking check that email address where she’ll get the friend request. -CS

  7. The Diva's Thoughts September 5, 2008 at 4:29 pm #

    Oh damn!

    I know. So awful! -CS

  8. gnugs September 5, 2008 at 4:29 pm #

    You must take better care when stalking a person. There are rules to follow, and procedures you MUST adhere to. Other than that, Eff it. Who cares what baby tramps think anyways? Wait… DO they think?

    I don’t care what she thinks, but he still does. He’s still smitten as hell with her…even though she already has a new boyfriend. Skank. -CS

  9. kristina September 5, 2008 at 4:46 pm #

    See!! I told you Facebook was evil…

    It’s still 10 times better than stupid myspace. -CS

  10. Mavsmom September 5, 2008 at 5:53 pm #

    I have done my share of virtual stalking. However you weren’t stupid enough to send a drunk message to one of his facebook status updates to let him know you had been virtual stalking. (Yep, that was me!) Needless to say, he has made his profile completely private now.

    Ouch. Now that’s freaking bad!! -CS

  11. Amadeo September 5, 2008 at 8:05 pm #

    I shall now laugh at you.

    Thanks. That makes me feel so much better. -CS

  12. Blondie September 5, 2008 at 11:47 pm #

    I’ve done that exact same thing on facebook! I ended up blocking their profile and changed my search settings so no one could type my name and find me (in case they wanted to show their friends the ‘crazy friend request girl’). But then I got over it and changed my settings back to normal a few weeks later.

    We came up with a whole secret (and lame ass) plan to pretend that we weren’t stalking her. I’m sure it’ll never work. -CS

  13. Dr Zibbs September 6, 2008 at 9:23 am #


    I know! -CS

  14. SinCity September 7, 2008 at 10:36 pm #

    Ha ha! I’ve done that (but in myspace. I’m not cool enough for facebook), but I, being a professional virtual stalker, have gone to the lengths of creating an “anonymous” myspace account along with an “anonymous” email account for all the virtual stalking…

    What, that’s not, like, weird, right? I’m not the only one, right? RIGHT?

    See, that’s really smart. I have one of those on dating sites, but never managed to be that smart with social networking sites. We could learn a lot from you, SinCity! -CS

  15. elisabeth September 9, 2008 at 10:13 pm #

    Facebook has turned us all into virtual stalkers. Really why to I care that my little brothers best friend from high school is single again. Oh wait because he’s incrediably hot and according to his facebook birthday he is really only 3 years younger than me…

    You know what I say? Jump on that immediately if not sooner! -CS

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