Let Freedom Ring

25 Aug

You know what I always found to be incredibly lame?  Freedom Fries.  So stupid!!  I can’t believe that, as a country, we got so bent out of shape when the French refused to help us in our “war against terror” that we had to change the name of our stupid freaking fries. 

Really?  I mean, really?  That’s all we could come up with?  For the freaking love.  I can’t believe that we couldn’t come up with anything better than that.  We’re talking about a group of people that wear boat shirts and berets, and all we could do is come up with Freedom Fries?

Why not have freedom dressing and freedom bread?  And freedom lace panties?  Or freedom kissing?  Frankly, if someone ever tried to lay a freedom kiss on me, I’d probably have to laugh in his face before I wished them adieu and walked away.

Personally, I don’t have a problem with the French.  They make some pretty good cheese, and some spectacular wine.  Plus they gave us Olivier Martinez.  As a matter of fact, I could make a meal out of just the cheese and the wine-and Olivier Martinez.  Sure, not exactly the healthiest meal in the world, but it’s pretty darn tasty. Plus if you add champagne to anything, it totally classes it up.

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7 Responses to “Let Freedom Ring”

  1. Del-v August 25, 2008 at 10:53 am #

    No mention of the Freedom tickler? You are losing your touch Ms. Singleton.

    Damn it! I knew I was forgetting the most important thing. Clearly I hit my head on that diving board railing harder than I thought. Damn it! -CS

  2. Red August 25, 2008 at 11:10 am #

    Yeah, if’s a good thing I never actually set you up with what’s-his-name.

    Was he into that stuff? Oh god, thank the lord I was spared. -CS

  3. Dr Zibbs August 25, 2008 at 11:52 am #

    The French do have some great food and wine but I still like to smack them in the face with a baguette I always keep handy.

    It’s important to always have a baguette on hand. -CS

  4. pistols at dawn August 25, 2008 at 12:19 pm #

    Wow, this is really topical for like, 2003.

    It’s also not anything new. When we fought the Krauts in WWI, we changed “frankfurter” to “hot dog” and “sauerkraut” to the incredibly ridiculous “liberty cabbage.” America’s been dumb for a lot longer than we give ourselves credit for.

    Liberty cabbage? For the love. -CS

  5. lailani August 25, 2008 at 8:40 pm #

    uhm, talking about the french in open forums makes me uncomfortable.

    Are you afraid they might wrinkle their noses at you? -CS

  6. Amadeo August 26, 2008 at 9:40 am #

    We must respect the French…they invented the Menage a Trois….something like that holds favor for a few centuries. It’s just not as sexy to drunkenly slur, “Three way?”

    Menage a trois does sound far more sophisticated than a 3 way. It’s so international when you say it like the Frogs do. -CS

  7. katrocket August 27, 2008 at 1:49 pm #

    You shouldn’t feel too bad about it. You oughtta hear what they say about Americans. In any given country, actually.

    I know. When I travel I pretend to be Canadian. -CS

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