Truck Bastards

21 Aug

Oh how I heart taking time off of work.  It’s one of my favorite past times, right behind doing it, mocking people, and enjoying a delicious cocktails with friends.  There’s a special kind of joy in sleeping in and knowing your poor, poor friends had to drag themselves out of bed at some ungodly hour so they could take it from “the man” or take care of their kids.

You can imagine my dismay when I woke up, not at 10:00 like I was aiming for, but at 8:15.  Thank you, stupid dump truck.  No.  Really.  It means a lot to me.

For some unknown reason, there is a dump truck idling outside my house-parked directly in front of my house.  Clearly it’s main purpose is to ruin my slumber.  Stupid bastards. 

I had plans for today.  I really did!  I was going to enjoy sleeping in the middle of my bed until mid morning.  Then I was actually going to get up and mow the lawn.  The weeds and small woodland creatures are taking over my yard.  They need to be dealt with, STAT!  Here’s the thing, I’m not mowing my lawn in front of some truck driver.  Surely, he’ll whistle and make cat calls at me while I’m sweating and pushing the mower.  Or perhaps he will think, “Look!  A Mexican mowing her lawn.”  Then perhaps he will shout, “Hey, Mexican, bring me a taco!”

Stupid truck.  Now my plans are ruined.  Now I’ll have to change my plans completely.  Obviously, this calls for surfing the interwebs until he leaves.  Or at least until he gets bored and moves his stupid truck.

On the otherhand, I wouldn’t mind a catcall or two.


13 Responses to “Truck Bastards”

  1. Hookdntx August 21, 2008 at 9:21 am #

    Might i suggest investing in a wonderful pair of earplugs…. As a first floor resident, they have been my godsend from little yapping dogs and rowdy kids on many an early morning.

    Also, should you decide you would like to go back to bed, a breakfast cocktail like a mimosa or a Bellini does wonders for the shutting off of the hearing.

    I’ve thought about the earplugs, but I’m afraid that my dog will need me and I won’t hear him. Instead, I just suffer the torment of the damned. -CS

  2. Cinnkitty August 21, 2008 at 9:29 am #

    awwww..poor baby. Why the HELL are you off today anyway? You should be wage slaving just like the rest of us. No sympathy.. NONE I tell ya!

    Although — I feel ya on the whole “sleeping in the middle of the bed” thing… ha..ha.ha..

    I took the days off because I was supposed to help 3D with something. Instead, he’ll have to find someone else to help him. -CS

  3. Amadeo August 21, 2008 at 9:47 am #

    This will make you feel better:

    Call people you know who are at work and tell them about how you’re doing nothing. That is always fun.

    I’m considering doing that tomorrow, when I’m off again and enjoying a day at the pool with some girlfriends, and some booze. -CS

  4. Del-v August 21, 2008 at 10:37 am #

    I like to start my day off from work by drinking a beer in the shower. Then go back to bed.

    The first step is admitting you have a problem. -CS

  5. LA August 21, 2008 at 11:02 am #

    I just did a post about cat calls myself… I’m still looking for ways to shut these bastards up – permanently! Blue-collar boys can be stupid and must be dealt with.

    Sometimes I don’t mind them. I just don’t want to hear them at the crack of dawn-or in the middle of the morning. -CS

  6. LA August 21, 2008 at 11:04 am #

    I was thinking ‘shot then pissed on’… oh, never mind.

    How shocking that YOU would think I said that. 😉 -CS

  7. Philly August 21, 2008 at 11:40 am #

    I like to get a catcall or two.


    Good times for all. -CS

  8. Jinksy August 21, 2008 at 4:13 pm #

    I can oblige with a catcall or two.

    “Here kitty kitty kittty. Here kitty”.

    What? Is this wrong?

    Please tell me that you meant that in a dirty way. -CS

  9. Bob Dobalina August 21, 2008 at 7:37 pm #

    I’m still unable to vote for you on that humor blog thing. I hate them with the fury of a 1000 exploding fat people.

    They’re sneaky bastards over there. You have to vote for other people before you can vote for me again. I don’t know why they do that. -CS

  10. Nanny Goats August 21, 2008 at 9:26 pm #

    Wiiit Wooo!

    Sorry, that’s my lame internet catcall.

    I’m guessing that was supposed to be like a whistle. Right? -CS

  11. pistols at dawn August 22, 2008 at 12:27 am #

    So, I hear there are tacos?

    Shocking that Mexicans talk about tacos. -CS

  12. Sav August 22, 2008 at 7:27 am #

    LMFAO!!! “Hey, Mexican, bring me a taco!”—Do you get that often??

    I get it all the time. Even from my family-who also happens to be Mexican. They just yell it in Spanish. -CS

  13. Wontletlifedefineme / Marjolein August 22, 2008 at 7:34 am #

    Sounds like how I woke up two days ago. We were staying at a campsite and woke up at 7:30 because some big trucks drove right past our rather small tent, in order to start building a huge party tent (I mean 35 by 7 meters – yes, we measured it). So with all the trucks driving around the field where we camped and the drilling into metal bars that was going on to construct the tent, we didn’t get any more sleep.

    You should have considered setting fire to the big tent. Or slashing the truck tires. That would have been super too. -CS

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