You Told Me So

14 Aug

You warned me this was going to happen.

You told me that I should just stay away.

Well, I didn’t listen.  I went ahead and decided to give 3D another shot-gave him the benefit of the doubt that we loved each other enough to try to work things out.  Yeah, not so much.

Last Friday we talked things out and I set down some boundaries.  He complied, but he still acted like the needy, insecure guy that he is.  We had to have a discussion about feelings every single night since Friday.  Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m not the “let’s talk about feelings until we’re both blue in the face” kind of girl.  Frankly, talking about feelings makes me want to throw myself out the nearest window.  3D, on the other hand, thinks it’s important to communicate every second of every waking day.  “It’s what you do in a relationship,” he says, “Communication is important.”  Yeah, it’s important to communicate, but not so much that it gets in the way of breathing.  Really?  Before the 3 month mark in a relationship, there shouldn’t be that freaking much that you have to work out.

But I digress…

So, we gave it another shot, and we ended up having all these stupid lame asstalks about feelings and bumps in the road and why won’t you just love me, and why don’t you want to be with me all the time, and I know you said you needed your space tonight but can I see you anyway.  Needless to say, this was not turning out the way that I had hoped.  It’s as if he had gone from my dreamy dreamboat to Captain Needy McNeederton from Needyville.  Seriously, shoot me in the face.  I can’t handle all that insecurity.

The final straw happened last night.  I talked to him at about 7:30 while I was on my way to therapy.  At the end of the conversation I told him that I would just talk to him tomorrow (which is now today.  It’s crazy how that whole time thing works.), and he got kind of needyquiet.  He then asked, “Why’s that?”  I had to explain to him that I just wanted to be by myself afterwards, so he proceeded to get cranky and we said goodnight.

At 9:50 he sends me the following text message: Hon, I know you said you wanted your space tonight.  I just need to know that everything is ok between you and I.

For the love!!  For the freaking love of things and stuff.  Really?  You can’t let me have one night?  Not one god damned night to myself?  My first reaction was to call him back and tell him everything was fine (which was a lie), but I was afraid we’d have to talk about feelings again.  Then I thought I’d just text message him in the morning and told him that I didn’t get his message (another lie).  Then I wondered, how bad are things that I’d rather lie to him to save myself the trouble of dealing with this?

I’ve been dreading having to have “the talk” with him.  He’s clever, he’s manipulative, I was sure that he would talk me out of it.  He knows just what to say, and what to do.  Let’s be honest, he can play me like a violin-he’s that good.  So I decided that email would be the way to go.  Self preservation, that’s my justification.  I can’t afford to put myself in a situation where I’m going to walk away with doubts, or worse yet, not walk away at all.  It’s like he was beating the spirit out of me, and I just didn’t want to put myself in that position anymore.

Long email, all eloquent and shit. 

Feelings, blah blah, control issues, blah blah we tried, blah blah can’t do this, blah blah sexually compatible, blah blah glass half full blah blah this isn’t working blah blah you can’t change my mind blah blah can’t give you what you need blah blah communication blah blah feelings blah blah love blah blah no future blah blah blame blah blah peace out, Homes.

I think you get the picture.  So, I end the message by telling him that I don’t want to talk things out and that I don’t want to see him because it would make things harder.  I hit send.

He responds (like I knew he would).  At the end of his message, he writes, “Can you still take me to XYZ on Thursday?  I really can’t ask anyone to take off that day.”  WHAT??

Umm…no.

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21 Responses to “You Told Me So”

  1. The Guv August 14, 2008 at 10:03 am #

    Urgh. To me “communication” about feelings should be if you’re particularly upset about something you can talk to that person about it or if you’re afraid or confused etc. It’s not discussing your abundant love every five seconds. It should just be understood. Reassurance is one thing but there’s a fine line between that and needy. Maybe he’s just feeling vulnerable and over stressing everything but then that’s the very reason you broke it off in the first place.

    Luck, girlie!!

    I’m right there with you, Guv. The only time you need to talk through something is if something’s not working. We don’t need to discuss how birds suddenly appear everytime I am near, and how just like them, you long to be next to me. F that noise right in the pooper! -CS

  2. Amadeo August 14, 2008 at 10:11 am #

    Think of it this way…at least the sex was good. Now though you may miss it…you can at least get to start the “X days without peen” poster at a lower number.

    If it means anything. I’ll let you have your nights to yourself as long as you give as a post in the day.

    Oh! I don’t have that calendar. I’m going to totally need that. I’m totally going to add a widget to my sidebar that has feature…

    Thanks, Amadeo, that means a lot to me. -CS

  3. Philly August 14, 2008 at 10:27 am #

    Did you tell all this to Vangelina Jolie? She is the one that put you back in this situation. You need to have a talk with her.

    #1

    She and I had a sit down yesterday and I think we’re fine now. I hope. -CS

  4. Cinnkitty August 14, 2008 at 10:37 am #

    Ahhh.. darlin, what can I say? Ummm… at least you figured it out in 3 months? Whereas it took me 8?? See… you are WAY ahead of the curve. Congratulations! 🙂

    Now it’s time to celebrate! -CS

  5. Liz August 14, 2008 at 10:45 am #

    What can I say, you tried. At least you realized it before it became a really big issue.

    Thank goodness for that! -CS

  6. Jane Wonder August 14, 2008 at 10:49 am #

    Does this mean we can go out Friday night?

    (What? I’m just looking for the silver lining here!)

    I think I would totally be up for that!!

    Honey, there’s a platinum lining here. 🙂 -CS

  7. Georgia August 14, 2008 at 10:54 am #

    You didn’t even need to send the email – you could have just set your relationship status to single over facebook.

    Know what? I pretty changed my status the second after I hit send. Hmm…wonder if he saw facebook before the email? -CS

  8. Newmie August 14, 2008 at 11:16 am #

    Sometimes people who are THAT clingy need to see it in black and white. You did the right thing. I usually just change my phone number and move. YOUR way is much easier (and cheaper).

    A round of cocktails is in order.

    And for the record, I caught that Facebook profile alteration.:)

    Know what? I freaking heart booze. Let’s go get our drinking on!!

    You and everyone else. -CS

  9. thenextfish August 14, 2008 at 11:57 am #

    On the bright side at least you’re not questioning your decision anymore. It sounds like the last few days have been absolute torture. I would rather have pins stuck in me than have to endure hours of ‘relationship’ talk. And, yeah, at three months the problem probably isn’t the relationship so much as the person.

    Yup, I have zero doubts that walking away from this hot mess is the right thing to do. -CS

  10. thenextfish August 14, 2008 at 11:59 am #

    Oh and I LOVE your new ‘days without peen’ calendar. I would be far too scared to keep track.

    We can all thank Amadeo for that wonderful idea. -CS

  11. Del-v August 14, 2008 at 12:13 pm #

    I have a single, clingy and emotionally manipulative ex-girlfriend who may be a perfect match for 3D.

    Super. Let’s set it up.

    Now, when are we going to Ixia for drinks? I need some cocktails. -CS

  12. Stella August 14, 2008 at 1:14 pm #

    Well, it seems like going back to him for a bit made you realize that you were crying last week for no reason, so there’s at least that. Gave you some closure, made you realize you did make the right decision. Now go forth and be single and fabulous again 🙂

    I’m going forth! I just need a cocktail and all will be right with the world. -CS

  13. Bob Dobalina August 14, 2008 at 1:45 pm #

    Is 3D in therapy? I really feel for the guy (tho I think you absolutely made the right call for your own sanity) and he can’t be happy being that insecure. He sounds like a nice guy but his issues will make it impossible for him to find the love he’s so desperate for.

    Wow, did someone spike my coffee with estrogen? Scratch that last paragraph, I meant to say please show me your rack. Kthxbye.

    He totally needs to be in therapy. The scary part is that he thinks there’s nothing wrong with him and that the way he acts is perfectly normal and acceptable. It’s sad, because there are some really great things about him, but his family really screwed him up.

    BOOBIES! -CS

  14. Jo August 14, 2008 at 3:25 pm #

    “Captain Needy McNeederton from Needyville” – SNORT
    You crack me up. Thanks!

    I try! -CS

  15. Andrew August 14, 2008 at 3:36 pm #

    Another ‘winner’ drop kicked through the goalposts of love 😉

    He’ll bounce back. -CS

  16. Mike August 14, 2008 at 4:32 pm #

    Come on one more time. He really sounds like a winner. Also does he text you when you go to the bathroom when you two are out? Just to make sure everything is still okay with you two.

    I know, and despite these winning qualities of him, I let him go. Crazy! -CS

  17. pistols at dawn August 14, 2008 at 6:15 pm #

    “Seriously, shoot me in the face.” I thought you said you didn’t get down like that, baby.

    I think we have the perfect relationship, CS – I saw you once like six months ago and at no point have we ever discussed our feelings. Perfect.

    Only you, Pistols…

    Hey, wanna get married? -CS

  18. Foxy Luv August 14, 2008 at 6:29 pm #

    I am not sure, but I might be more of a man than 3D is…

    Honey, you totally are. -CS

  19. sista #2 August 14, 2008 at 10:25 pm #

    Just introduce Vangelina once again to Mr Good Vibrations for God’s sake.

    And stay awake from 3DDDDDDD

    peace
    #2

    What makes you think that Vangelina hasn’t been here her battery operated boyfriend in all this time? -CS

  20. sista #2 August 14, 2008 at 10:25 pm #

    stay away too lol

    And just when I was going to mock you, you self corrected. -CS

  21. maria August 16, 2008 at 2:14 am #

    While I do feel sorry for you n very much sympathize with you.. this was funny as hell! Its sort of nice to know all the crazy guys don’t run only towards me =)

    The dude sounds like he needs some serious professional help. * Hands you a round of virtual cocktails. *

    Apparently I draw the crazies too. Here’s the thing, we’re all dysfunctional in our own way. Relationships are about finding a partner who’s dysfunction is in line with yours. So romantic. -CS

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