Just the Tip Tuesday (08/12/08)

12 Aug

You know what’s special about the Olympics?  All those boys with hot, cut, well defined bodies in a tiny banana hammock.  Thank you world for making the Speedo and providing us with a venue to stare at specimens who actually belong in them.

I have to admit, I haven’t watched a single second of the Olympics this year-and I’m pretty sure I’ll make it the full 2 weeks without watching any of it.  I will, however, be the first to confess that I do enjoy reading up on the results of the swimming competitions.  Mainly because of the pictures that accompany the articles. 

Also, I like to pretend that I’m a Michael Phelps fan.  Sure, he had a creepy Fu Manchu mustache a little bit ago, but that’s gone now.  And his face leaves a lot to be desired, but that’s something you’d never see if he was hitting it from behind (or in Claude’s case, if you were hitting him from behind).  Phelps is a local boy, so I have to be a fan.  It’s the law.  If I say anything bad about him, I’ll be evicted from the state of Maryland.  That would be a bad thing. 

Shortly after his debut at the Olypmics in 2004 (or whenever the freaking hell it was) my mom tried to get her cellphone fixed at the Verizon store.  It just so happened that the day she and my sister chose to go was the very same day that Phelps was signing autographs at the same location.  My mom tried to fight her way to the counter, but the Verizon guy stopped her.  “Ma’am, there’s a line.  If you want to get an autograph, you’ll have to wait your turn.”  She took one look at him and said, “I don’t know who that is, I don’t want his autograph.  I just want you to fix my phone.”  Apparently, Phelps overheard her and glared at her when she said that.

How’d we get so off track?

This week’s JTT is in honor of our Golden boys, and that hot Frenchy frog that won the silver the other day:

[left to right] Silver Frog, Michael Phelps (looks better with paper bag over head and no shirt), Garrett Weber-Gale, Cullen Jones, and Jason Lezak

[pictured left to right]Silver Frog (his name’s not important because a) he’s French, b) he only won the silver), Michael Phelps (looks better with paper bag over head and no shirt), Garrett Weber-Gale, Cullen Jones, and Jason Lezak.

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16 Responses to “Just the Tip Tuesday (08/12/08)”

  1. Philly August 12, 2008 at 3:21 pm #

    Couldn’t you find a pic with a paper bag and no shirt?

    #1

    You know what’s weird? Apparently he doesn’t walk around with the bag all the time. Crazy! -CS

  2. Red August 12, 2008 at 3:25 pm #

    Ditch the paper bag., but I came here similarly in hopes of shirtlessness!

    This is a freaking klassy place! I don’t always post such photographs. -CS

  3. Lady Jaye August 12, 2008 at 3:36 pm #

    Dammit. I wanted a mostly naked swimmer. Or at least a well-hung diver in a speedo.

    I can’t stand the pictures of his face, they give me nightmares. Sadly, all of the pictures that show his body also show his scary face. -CS

  4. Andrew August 12, 2008 at 3:39 pm #

    My dear, if you’d watched any of the Olympics you would know that swimmers don’t wear the tiny banana hammocks anymore, its all high tech sharkskin jammers these days.

    Though you might like to google and find pictures of the men’s gymnastics teams, they make swimmers look like malnourished stick insects.

    Women’s gymnastics ? nope I’m not going to watch it, I just feel like a pedophile..

    If there are no banana hammocks then I’m definitely not tuning in. F that noise!!

    Check out the women’s volleyball. They prance around in tiny bikinis and bend over all the time. They WANT you to watch them. -CS

  5. Magnolia Sun August 12, 2008 at 5:13 pm #

    Too bad they don’t wear the skimpy suits anymore – you can’t really tell much difference between the guys and girls.

    I’m so addicted to watching the games.

    That freaking blows ass chunks.

    You and half the world, sister. -CS

  6. Amadeo August 12, 2008 at 6:15 pm #

    Disregarding famous people is fun.

    I know! -CS

  7. damon August 12, 2008 at 8:31 pm #

    That’s sick. Watching athletes solely for the purpose of “sneaking a peek”. I think it’s terrible that you even would…

    Gotta go…womens gymnastics is on!

    Nice one, very slick. 🙂 -CS

  8. SinCity August 12, 2008 at 11:15 pm #

    Okay, so my comment has nothing to do with JTTT… well, it kind of does, b/c seeing the picture reminded me that I totally had a dream about your blog last night.

    I dreamt that I came to your blog for JTTT and there was a series of pix of you my dear, coming clean as to your identity on the internet and you totally looked like penelope cruz with bangs…

    I had no idea why this was floating around my brain last night. I’m not sure what it means… I swear I’m not creepy or stalking you…

    I don’t know if I should be flattered or horrified that you dreamt about me. I’m delighted that you love me (don’t pretend you don’t) so much that I’m a star in your dreams. However, I hate Peepee Cruz with her smashed up face. I look nothing like her. Think Molly Shannon. -CS

  9. Hookdntx August 13, 2008 at 9:50 am #

    Does anyone else think that Phelps has a face like McLovin?

    McLovin’s teeth are 10 times better than Mikey Phelps’s teeth. -CS

  10. courtney August 13, 2008 at 10:03 am #

    i want cullen jones please.

    The line forms to the left, sister. -CS

  11. Wide Lawns August 13, 2008 at 10:14 am #

    I’m with you. The Olympics are definitely pleasurable to my eyes. Michael Phelps looks so insanely beautiful when he swims, especially underwater, but OH MY LORD when he takes the cap and goggles off it ruins everything. I don’t care. I’m proud of him anyway. He’s incredible.

    Honestly I’ve rathered enjoyed looking at all the athletes’ bodies and not in a dirty way. More in a “wow a body can do that” kinda way. Except the Chinese women’s gymnastics team. EWW. They’re so little and spindly and freaky looking. It creeps me out because they look like they’re like seven. One of them is actually missing a baby tooth and the adult tooth hasn’t grown in. Yuck.

    Perhaps we can make some arrangements with the makers of super glue to have the cap and goggles permanently affixed to him. That way, he won’t ruin the illusion of hotness with his nasty ass face. -CS

  12. Jenn August 13, 2008 at 11:20 am #

    I vote for Tom Welling (Smallville) for the next JTT. Superman is super hot.

    Mama likey! -CS

  13. RockyCat August 13, 2008 at 11:27 am #

    I opened the sports section of the newspaper this morning and there was a pic of the men swimmers on the medal stand. If their trunks were riding any lower, they would have fallen right off. And in the photo, there’s this Chinese dude standing behind Michael Phelps and staring at his butt ………. Ewww.

    That’s hilarious!! -CS

  14. Marjolein August 13, 2008 at 12:16 pm #

    Not Phelps and not America for me either 😛

    I did see some really, really cute canadian guys during the synchronized diving event this morning.. they were absolutely yummy.

    That Frenchy frog is pretty hot. You know what? As long as they look pretty, I don’t care where they’re from. Let’s be honest here. -CS

  15. Not Carrie Bradshaw August 13, 2008 at 12:41 pm #

    I just wrote about this on my blog but I think Phelps should win a medal for douchebaggery. More than his face ruining it, it’s when he opens his mouth and he sounds cro-magnum.

    I would totally vote for that. Maybe we can just hold a national election and he can win by a wide margin (the size of his forehead). -CS

  16. Red August 13, 2008 at 4:58 pm #

    I love Phelps’ face! Okay, his teeth are a little jank, but he’s adorable. And he has those ears you can just grab onto and go to town! (I’m sorry. Did I say that out loud?)

    I’ll tell you what. You go ahead and take his face and I’ll take his body. There, perfect solution. -CS

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