Klass Act

28 Jul

Last night, Foxy, her hub cap (Cheeto Boy), 3D and I attended a little dinner party at Amber’s house.  There was fantastic food, wine a plenty, and klassy dialogue.  Behold a prime example of how Foxy and I klass up the joint:

We were discussing a security guard that used to work with us.  Her secret code name was His & Hers because at first glance it was hard to figure out if she was a man or a woman.  Think Pat from Saturday Night Live.

We always knew that His & Hers had a little crush on Foxy.  This was clear by the way she treated Foxy.  When anyone else walked through the door, Hitler Jr. would demand to see some identification.  She would see these people at least twice a day, and every god damned day she’d pretend that she’d never seen them before.  She did this with everyone except for Foxy.  With her, it was always, “Good morning, Ms. Foxy.  You look very nice today.” or “Good morning, Ms. Foxy.  What say you to sitting on my face.”  Stuff like that.

Last night we were telling 3D all about His & Hers, and here’s how it all came out:

  • Foxy: She always asked everyone to flash their ID badge.  Except for me.
  • Me: That’s because she wanted you to flash your vag.
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14 Responses to “Klass Act”

  1. Cinnkitty July 28, 2008 at 11:01 am #

    Damn woman… how come you are so fast with the witty repartee? I always think of the funny stuff at least 5 minutes (or 5 days) AFTER the conversation.. sigh… You are my hero!

    Guess I’m just born with it… -CS

  2. Foxy Luv July 28, 2008 at 11:13 am #

    It is true…and disturbing.

    And hilarious. You forgot hilarious. -CS

  3. Always In Style July 28, 2008 at 12:54 pm #

    His & Hers – I’ve been in that awkward situation.

    Who hasn’t. Really? -CS

  4. Stella July 28, 2008 at 3:05 pm #

    “What say you to sitting on my face” sounds like something Pistols would say. Also, hilarious.

    Know what? That’s how he introduced himself when we went on our dream date. -CS

  5. Amadeo July 28, 2008 at 3:57 pm #

    You must find a way to make money from this gift. You’re like the champion of “That’s what she said”.

    Know what’s funny? 3D also said I should make money off my “gift”, only he wasn’t talking about my humor… -CS

  6. [Cherry] Ride July 28, 2008 at 4:51 pm #

    I’ve get past more security guards by flashing my man bits. Try it, it works.

    I don’t have any man bits. Do you think that matters? -CS

  7. pistols at dawn July 28, 2008 at 9:33 pm #

    You implement security procedures your way, and I’ll implement them mine. Retina and vag scan, please.

    Is that scan going to happen orally or digitally? -CS

  8. Bob Dobalina July 28, 2008 at 10:35 pm #

    I foresee a beautiful future, filled with vag readers galore.

    The world would be a much happier place. -CS

  9. Jinksy July 28, 2008 at 10:52 pm #

    I’m not sure how I’d respond to an “asexual” security guard hitting on me. I’d probably be weirded out by the fact that I was uncertain if they were straight or gay.

    Was he-she kinda plump like Pat too?

    She was very round, just like Pat. Imagine a Weeble in uniform and that’s what His & Hers looked like. -CS

  10. jo July 29, 2008 at 10:54 am #

    too funny!

    but is it weird that i’m actually wondering why they have female security guards? aren’t those usually male??

    It’s pretty funny because we also have really old security guards, and some that are really out of shape. They’re just here for show. -CS

  11. tonyspunk July 29, 2008 at 11:11 am #

    Tony is loving you ladies and your sexy tales. Thankfully he is wearing loose pants and a smile.

    Tony should start wearing the sweatpants when reading the sexy tales. Or no pants. -CS

  12. Chardsy July 29, 2008 at 2:19 pm #

    Odd. I had the same conversation with my parents last night.

    Creepy.

    Crazy how that happens… -CS

  13. Newmie July 29, 2008 at 10:46 pm #

    So what you’re saying is that Foxy is the Lindsay Whorehan to the His&Hers version of SaMANtha Ronson?

    That’s exactly what I’m saying! I couldn’t have put it better myself. -CS

  14. SinCity July 29, 2008 at 11:35 pm #

    mmmmmm cheetos….

    You can never go wrong with cheetos. -CS

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